


I stayed in the darkness with you

by AttackOnTetris



Category: Kill la Kill
Genre: F/F, Mentions of Rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-27 16:00:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 35,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1716395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AttackOnTetris/pseuds/AttackOnTetris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bookstore AU. Ryuko la Satsuki. Satsuki has some baggage. Ryuko works at a bookstore. Nonon teaches children and hates everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"How much do you think I'll get for all this shit, anyway?"

Turning and looking down at her oldest friend, Satsuki shrugged and said, "It depends what's in demand at the moment, I suppose."

Huffing and adjusting the cardboard box full of music theory textbooks on her hip, Nonon said, "I hate this town, nobody appreciates good music anymore. I'll probably get twenty bucks for all this. Who fucking knows how much I paid for these originally! Goddammit!"

Snorting, Satsuki tried to calm her down, "You never know, Nonon. These people might be more reasonable than you think. I looked them up, they're known for being fair in buy-back situations. Of course, you won't get every penny back, but you'll get more than you would at the university bookstore."

Nonon scoffed, "Well, whatever. Fuck the university bookstore, they've been fucking me over since they paired up with all the professors to make us all buy the newest editions every semester. I'm so glad I'm graduating next semester. Won't have to deal with their bullshit anymore."

Satsuki chuckled and pulled out a scrap piece of paper with some scribbles on it, "Okay, I think it's the next block. We're looking for a place called ' _Matoi Bookstore'_. Sounds family owned… so uninspired." Sighing, Satsuki put the paper back into her bag.

"They could be called ' _Dick's New Twist_ ' for all I care, as long as I get some of my money back. I saw this baton at the last educators convention, holy God, fucking hand carved with wood from this tree in Australia that smells like bubblegum or some shit, I want it so bad!"

Satsuki just rolled her eyes. "Are you referring to ' _Oliver Twist'_? The author's name is Dickens, not Dick." Turning the corner, they saw a small shop smashed between two huge buildings that had a handmade sign that read ' _Matoi Bookstore'_.

Grimacing, Nonon said, "Whatever. Looks like a shit hole."

"Agreed."

* * *

Opening the door, Satsuki peered in the shop. It was a small place, with books lining the walls from ceiling to the floor, and a small cash machine at the front. "Hello? Is anyone here?" Letting Nonon in behind her, Satsuki continued, "We've got some books we'd like to sell you."

Coming out from behind the small dividing wall towards the back of the shop, a girl with shoulder-length black hair came running up to them. Giving her a once over, Satsuki saw the girl had a streak of bright red hair in her bangs, making Satsuki tilt her head in interest.

"Hey, hey! Welcome! You said you had some books to sell? You've come to the right place! Are these whatcha got?" The girl gestured to the box Nonon had put on the floor next to her.

"Uh, yeah. So how's this work? You just go through them and deem the ones worthy of keeping and give me prices for them?" Nonon asked, crossing her arms.

The girl grinned, "Pretty much! I'll take these to the back and go through 'em real fast. Feel free to look around!" Looking at Satsuki, the girl said, "Uh, the classics are in that nook to the left if you were wondering."

Widening her eyes, Satsuki said, "Oh. Thank you."

Smiling wider, the girl picked up the box next to Nonon's feet and turned to go to the back. "Yeah, uh, you just look like a classics kinda girl; my name's Ryuko. If you need any help just holler for me."

Once Nonon was sure she was out of hearing range, she said, "That was fuckin' weird." Swallowing roughly, Satsuki muttered her agreement and went to the classics section, leaving Nonon to her own devices.

While browsing the titles Satsuki thought about that girl, Ryuko. From the minute and a half she had been in contact with her, Satsuki was already fascinated. Ryuko had slightly larger than normal canine teeth, and her eyes were a nice cobalt blue.

Her outfit had been interesting, denim cutoff shorts with a light purple v-neck t-shirt, aviator sunglasses resting on the top of her head and last season's cloth covered shoes on her feet.

With a light blush dusting her cheeks, Satsuki thought,  _She's pretty cute… Plus she's got a good sense of personality, given that she guessed I was going for this section by just looking at me._

Picking up a book to look at the price, her thoughts were interrupted, "Hey, that's a good one," Snapping her head to the left, she saw Ryuko smiling at her, "at least, that's what I hear. I'm not a big fan of him, personally." She finished, looking at the author's name on the cover.

Looking back at the book in her hand, Satsuki said, "Oh, yeah. Same. I just heard from a friend that this one is worth checking out because of the plot." Ryuko hummed, leaning against the shelf, looking at the opposite wall of books. They stayed there in silence for a while, until Ryuko cleared her throat and said, "Oh, I forgot why I came to find you, I think your friend left, I need to give her a price for the books she brought in."

Furrowing her brows, Satsuki put the book back on the shelf and pulled out her phone, finding a text from Nonon that read ' _Hey I had to pee. I couldn't find a bathroom in that place. I'm across the street at the Starbucks. Be back in like twenty minutes. There's a long ass line.'_ Shutting her phone, Satsuki told Ryuko the situation.

Scratching her nape, Ryuko laughed, "There's a bathroom upstairs. I probably should've mentioned that."

Eyebrows raised, Satsuki said, "This place has an upstairs?" Ryuko nodded, "Yeah! Wanna see? There's a little nook to read as well, so you can read a few chapters before you buy and stuff." Gesturing for Satsuki to follow her, Ryuko went around the dividing wall and led Satsuki to an old wooden staircase lining the wall.

"You're not leading me to my murder, are you?" Satsuki asked dryly, slowly following Ryuko up the stairs. Walking into a room the size of a small bedroom, Ryuko laughed, "No, no. That would mean I'd have to replace the carpet, do you know how expensive that is? Holy shit." Putting a hand on her hip, she gestured to another door near the corner of the room with her thumb, "That's the bathroom."

Glancing around, there was a couch lining the wall on her left, a few chairs scattered randomly throughout the room, and a love seat on the wall to her right. Satsuki sat on the love seat, since it was the closest and looked the cleanest. "So, do you own this place or do you just work here?"

Ryuko remained standing, "Well, it was my mom's but she passed away a while back. Dad wanted to keep the place, so I offered to help out with it. Turns out I'm pretty good at it and we get a lot of customers like your friend. They see I'm fair with my pricing and they come back to buy other stuff. It's a nice little cycle." Ryuko gave Satsuki a once-over, "Are you done with school?"

Crossing her legs, Satsuki said, "No, I have a semester left." Resting her elbow on the armrest she continued, "What about you? You don't look much younger than me."

Putting her hands in her pockets, Ryuko pursed her lips in thought, "I have two semesters left." Satsuki hummed. Ryuko turned to look out the window on the opposite wall. Resting her face against her hand, Satsuki said, "Why don't you sit down? It must be tiresome to be on your feet all day."

Ryuko gave her a strange look but complied, sitting next to her on the love seat. Crossing her arms, Ryuko started, "So, uh, what's your major?"

"Business Management. Yourself?"

"Same, actually! Where do you go? I haven't seen you around here before."

The conversation went on for a good ten minutes, each girl saying where they were from and what they wanted to do when they graduated. Turns out both of them wanted to take over the family business.

By the end of it, Ryuko had turned to face Satsuki fully, a leg crossed under the other, and an arm lying across the back of the seat. Satsuki couldn't look away. Ryuko's eyes were so expressive, she couldn't stop herself from leaning in a bit, the way they lit up even more after they found something more in common. It was beautiful.

Hearing a bell ring below them, Ryuko blinked a few times, as if coming out of a spell, "Ah, that must be your friend." Getting up and leading Satsuki back downstairs; Ryuko went to the back to get the estimate.

Finding Nonon, Satsuki asked how her trip was with a knowing tilt of her lips. "Took like thirty years! There was a line for the bathroom  _and_  coffee! What the fuck!" Taking a sip from her drink, Nonon cooled off a bit, "Did you find anything?"

Shrugging, Satsuki said, "No, not really."

Seeing Ryuko come around the corner, Nonon said, "Alright, what are my babies worth?"

Grinning, Ryuko gave her the price. Nonon almost dropped her cup, "Seriously? You're fucking serious? Oh my God, that—that's amazing! Yes! Yes! I'll take that to the bank, hell yeah!"

Satsuki piped up, "That's very generous of you."

Walking behind the cash machine, Ryuko shrugged, still smiling. Getting the cash and receipt, she walked back over and handed them both to Nonon, who was grinning like a mad woman.

"Be sure to come back! Tell your friends, too!" Ryuko turned to go back to her post in the back, but not before looking at Satsuki and saying, "I enjoyed talking with you. I hope to see you around more often."

"Y-Yes, I enjoyed speaking with you as well. I would like to come back soon; the atmosphere is very calming here."

"Alright, then! See you next time! Later!"

Walking down the street, Nonon turned to Satsuki with a shit-eating grin, "Wow, I can't believe you stuttered. What the fuck did you two do while I was gone?"

Satsuki put a hand to her face and sighed, "She caught me off-guard, that's all."

"Hmm, still. She's pretty hot, I guess. You like her, don't you? Don't fucking lie, Satsuki."

Satsuki shrugged, "She's cute. That doesn't mean I want to court her or anything. Besides, I'm very busy as it is, I wouldn't have time for that sort of thing."

Nonon sighed, "Whatever. Just ask her out for coffee or something one day. If it doesn't go well, then we can all move on with our lives; if it does go well, then you have a chance at being happy, like you deserve."

Satsuki didn't answer, staring straight ahead.

* * *

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since Satsuki had been to that bookstore with Nonon. Every day she had thought about Ryuko. Be it for a quick minute or taking over the whole afternoon like the last two days; Satsuki was fed up.

Looking up from her computer, Satsuki put a hand to her face, sighing.  _Why am I even thinking about this? Who cares?_ Groaning in frustration, she looked at the time. It was a little after one o'clock. Standing and stretching until a satisfied sigh passed her lips, Satsuki got her bag and put on her shoes. She was going to put an end to this.

Almost twenty minutes later, she walked in the little shop to find a few children running around, unattended. A young boy, maybe eleven or twelve, with brown hair came around the corner and smacked right into her leg.

Rounding the same corner, Ryuko appeared, holding one of the other kids by the neck of his t-shirt, looking extremely pissed off.

"Oi. Mataro. What did your sister and I tell you this morning? Huh? Exactly. No. Running. In the damn  _store_!" Dropping the boy she was holding, Ryuko stomped up to the boy next to Satsuki, presumably named Mataro.

"What! We weren't running! I was just walkin' real fast and this pretty lady came in and I was blinded by her stunning presence so I bumped into her!" Looking up, Mataro gave Satsuki his best puppy dog eyes, "Sorry about that, by the way."

Finally glancing at Satsuki, Ryuko squinted her eyes, as if trying to remember where she had seen her before. Satsuki just looked at Mataro and said, "Flattery gets you nowhere. Stop disobeying Ryuko, I'm sure she doesn't appreciate it."

Eyes lighting up in recognition, Ryuko pointed at Satsuki, "Ah! I know! You're that girl who walked in with that music major like a month ago! I never caught your name by the way."

"Satsuki."

Watching Ryuko mouth her name, seemingly committing it to memory, was strange to say the least for Satsuki. It was like she thought it was a prayer or something.

Ryuko tilted her head, suddenly interested, "That's pretty. So you're from Japan? Or at least of Japanese decent?"

Nodding, Satsuki went into small detail about her upbringing, the boy next to her slowly backing away and getting out of Ryuko's sight, taking advantage of the situation along with the other children.

"Anyway, the reason I came in here was because I wanted to ask you something."

Blinking, Ryuko shrugged and said, "Fire away."

Steeling her resolve, Satsuki bit the bullet, "I was wondering what time you get off work today, because I would like to get some coffee with you or even dinner if you'd like."

With a growing smile, Ryuko put her hands in her pockets, "Are you asking me out?"

"More or less."

Looking at the clock above the register, Ryuko yawned, and said, "Well, I've gotta get the kids back within the hour, and I guess I'll be done for the day. You wanna guard the store for me until I get back? Yeah, I'd like some coffee and dinner with you. Although, you look like you enjoy tea more than coffee, but whatever, sounds cool."

"Interesting analysis." Satsuki gripped her bag tighter. This girl was so perceptive it was almost scary. Even with those thoughts running through her mind, Satsuki knew the rush she was feeling wasn't fear, but anticipation. She hadn't felt this excited in a long time.

* * *

Ordering her tea, Satsuki sat at a table in the corner of the Starbucks, waiting for Ryuko to join her. Once she did sit down, Satsuki noticed the necklace Ryuko was wearing. It had a long chain, so the actual pendant fell close to her stomach, and the pendant itself was a tiny, red half-scissor.

Pointing it out, Satsuki said, "That's a neat necklace. Where did you get it?" Ryuko looked down and rubbed at the chain with practiced ease, "Oh, my dad gave it to me as a high school graduation gift. Not sure where he got it, though."

Nodding, Satsuki sipped at her tea. "That's nice. My mother gave me something similar. Only it's a traditional Katana."

Ryuko hummed, "Did you do Kendo in high school?"

Absently gripping her cup a little tighter, Satsuki answered, "Yes. I stopped my last year, though. Tore my ACL right before Nationals."

Playing with the straw of her iced coffee, Ryuko said, "Oh. I'm sorry. Uh, I did martial arts in high school. Still do, actually. Although, not as often as I'd like… How did you tear your ACL?"

Meeting Ryuko's eyes, Satsuki said dismissively, "My sister."

Ryuko blinked. "Your… sister?"

"Yes. She thought it would be funny if she tried to run over Nonon, the girl who sold her books to you, with my car at the time. I never ran so fast in my life. I pushed her out of the way just in time."

Ryuko looked taken aback. "Holy shit. That's fucking crazy! Did your parents do anything?"

Satsuki gave Ryuko a sad smile, "No. Mother claimed that I shouldn't have let my keys be so easily taken by my little sister. I'd do it a thousand times over, though. That pain is nothing compared to the grief of losing a friend."

Gripping her necklace, Ryuko looked out the window they were sitting next to solemnly, "Yeah. I know what you mean."

Sitting in silence for a while, finishing their drinks, Satsuki mulled over what to try and defuse the tension she had caused with. They had already talked about education, mostly. Conversations about her own family were out. Suddenly, Satsuki knew what to bring up.

"Hey, so whose kids were those earlier?"

Ryuko brightened immediately, "Oh! Well the one that ran into you, Mataro, he's Mako's little brother. She's going to med school right now, so I help her out whenever I can. Sometimes he's a bit much, but I'm basically family, so it's all good." Satsuki nodded in understanding,  _they must have dated or something_ , "So how long have you known Mako, then? You two must be close if you're taking care of her siblings."

Ryuko let out a bark of laughter, "Yeah, I met her when I moved here. She's… eccentric to say the least. She really brought me out of my shell in high school."

She gave Satsuki a knowing look, "If I'm being honest I never really wanted to date her, though. She's my best friend. Plus she's still with her high school sweetheart, anyway."

Satsuki messed with her cup, embarrassed. "Oh. That's nice." She looked up to see Ryuko leaning over with her chin resting in her palm, clearly staring.

She cleared her throat awkwardly, "What?"

Ryuko shrugged and said, "Nothing. You're just really nice to look at, very pretty. I think I like your eyebrows the most, though." Flushing, Satsuki couldn't look away from Ryuko's stare.

"That's very sweet of you to say."

Ryuko grinned and leaned back, still staring, "It's true. Are you finished with your tea? I know a cool place we can eat down the street." Nodding Satsuki stood and followed Ryuko out of the Starbucks.

With her hands behind her head Ryuko turned to look at Satsuki, "Do you like Italian?" She gave a noncommittal shrug, "It's fine."

Ryuko stopped walking. "What would you prefer?"

Blinking, Satsuki said, "Honestly, talking about home gave me a strange craving for curry—" Turning on her heel, Ryuko said, "Alright! I know a good little shop a few blocks from here. They're pretty authentic."

"Wait! Are you sure? We don't have to do that. I was just thinking out loud…"

Ryuko beamed, "Hey, when a pretty girl tells me she has a craving for curry, I don't screw around."

Flushing to her ears, Satsuki said, "You're very forward."

Ryuko shrugged, "I gave up on hiding my feelings a long time ago. If I want to say something, I will. I don't pull punches anymore." Putting her hands in her pockets, she started walking in the direction of the restaurant, Satsuki tailing behind her.

Dinner went by in a flash; Satsuki hadn't had that much fun just talking with someone in a long time. Their banter was playful but at the same time it gave Satsuki a feel for Ryuko's wit. It almost rivaled her own; almost being the key word.

Throughout dinner, Ryuko had played with the ends of her hair and grazed their hands a number of times. It shocked Satsuki a little, but remembering what Ryuko had said before about not hiding her feelings, it didn't bother her as much.

These things would've set her off with anyone else. She had had many first dates go wrong in her twenty-two years. Girls would try the same stupid tricks over and over, just to get her in their bed. It pissed her off to no end, but the way Ryuko was doing them didn't come off the same way.

The way Ryuko touched her, or attempted to touch her at times, was almost gentle, as if all she wanted was contact. Satsuki appreciated that more than anything. Ryuko wasn't trying to get a one-night stand; she was looking for an actual relationship.

After paying, Ryuko walked Satsuki back to the bookstore, "Well, that was the most fun I've had on a date in a while! Are you busy next week?"

Blinking, Satsuki went through her mental calendar, "I'm free next Friday night, actually."

Ryuko grinned, "It's a date!"

Both girls said their goodbyes and as Satsuki turned in the direction towards her apartment, Ryuko said, "So, uh, come by the store any time you want. It would probably make my day, honestly."

Looking back, she saw Ryuko scratching her nape, smiling at her. Satsuki said, "I'll come by as much as I can." Upon seeing Ryuko smile wider, Satsuki turned around fully and began the trek to her apartment, trying to fight her own growing smile.

* * *

Stepping into the store a few days later, Satsuki's face was met with a box an older man was carrying, successfully knocking it out of his hands onto the floor, spilling its contents.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, dear! Here, let me help. Are you hurt? Ryuko! I've injured a customer!" Holding her nose in an attempt to not get blood on her clothes, Satsuki got a look at the man she bumped into.

He was almost a foot shorter than her, but only because he looked like he had a back problem. He had an eye patch and white hair with a matching full beard and mustache, but the trait that Satsuki connected to Ryuko was his eye. It was the same color as Ryuko's, a little panicked at the moment, but still the same cool calming blue.

The poor man fretted over her until he saw Ryuko run out of the dividing wall towards the back of the store, the same panic in her eye as her fathers. Satsuki tried to tell him she was fine, really.

"Dad! I told you not to carry that stuff;  _I'll get it_ , oh my God. Holy crap, Satsuki, I'm so sorry," Ryuko reached over the cash register to the box of tissues sitting on a shelf on the wall, "Here, here. Let me help."

Grabbing Satsuki's hand that was covering her nose, Ryuko gently placed a tissue on her face in its place. Letting Satsuki apply the necessary pressure herself, Ryuko backed up and glared at her father.

"What! She just walked in! No knock or nothing!" Looking at Satsuki apologetically, Ryuko's father stepped closer, "I'm so sorry dear, is it broken? I'll, uh, cover the expense if you want—If it's broken. If it's not, then I'm not paying for anything."

"Goddammit, Dad. You know what, just—I'll deal with it, okay? Damn. Just finish the register crap and go to your poker night already, fuck." Rubbing her temple, Ryuko stared at her father wearily.

Putting his hands up in defense, Ryuko's dad went to the register, counted some things and made to leave. Before he walked out the door, he placed a hand on Satsuki's shoulder, "Listen, I'm sorry, alright? Accidents happen, yeah?"

Satsuki shook her head and said, "No, no. It's quite all right. I barged in without thinking; it's fine. Not broken. We're good." The older man smiled and nodded. Looking at Ryuko he deadpanned, "You better not be making me leave so soon cause you're gonna  _do the do_  with this nice girl upstairs, Ryuko—"

"Holy. Shit." Ryuko's entire face was red as she pushed her father out the door violently screaming at him to shut the fuck up. Satsuki finally had it. Letting out a snort of laughter, she grimaced a bit from the pain, mindful of the blood still dripping from her nose.

"God. He's so embarrassing." Looking up, Satsuki saw Ryuko leaning against the door with her face in her hands. Smiling, Satsuki waved at her dismissively, "We've all got embarrassing family members. Although, I don't think any of mine would be so open to talk about sex with strangers."

Grimacing from behind the hands on her face, Ryuko apologized again.  _She's cute when she's flustered,_ Satsuki thought. Wiping her nose, she felt for any more damage. Finding none, she took the tissue and went to throw it in the bin by the register.

"I, uh. I'm glad you came to the store today. Even though my dad almost broke your nose. It's nice to see you." Ryuko began picking up the books that fell out of the box her father was carrying. Satsuki suddenly found an interest in her nails, humming.

She wasn't used to people expressing their desire for her so openly. Most were afraid to offend her, given her no-nonsense reputation. Having Ryuko tell her how she felt all the time was certainly refreshing. Ryuko didn't hide from her; it was a nice change, Satsuki didn't like people that beat around the bush much anyway.

Picking up the box, Ryuko turned and placed it behind the register. "So, uh. What's up?" Suddenly remembering why she came, Satsuki pulled out a list from her pocket, "Oh, I have some textbooks I need to buy. They sent out the lists early this semester for some reason."

Plucking the list from Satsuki's hand, Ryuko furrowed her brows, concentrating. Pursing her lips, Ryuko nodded, "Yep. Okay. We've got 'em all. Want me to give you an estimate?"

 _No way._   _Does she have it all memorized? Every book in the store? That's insane._ Blinking, Satsuki said, "Um. Yes, if that's fine with you. I'm fine with older editions as well." Ryuko grinned and went behind the register and grabbed a calculator. After a few moments she gave Satsuki the estimate for her list.

"Yes, that's fine." Nodding, Ryuko started to pace around the store, seemingly grabbing the books that were on Satsuki's list. Once she was done she rang them all up and Satsuki paid, completing the transaction.

"That was easier than expected," Satsuki said, mostly to herself. Ryuko grinned, "Yeah, our inventory is pretty vast. Got shit from all over in here. Helps when you sell back, too."

Putting her hands in her pockets, Ryuko shuffled her feet. Satsuki could read body language well enough to answer the unspoken question, "I'm done for the day. If you want we can do something after your shift."

Looking up in surprise, Ryuko beamed at her, "Awesome! I get off in like an hour! Think you can wait for me?" Satsuki chuckled, "Yes. I'll go upstairs and get a head start on these," gesturing to the pile on the counter.

"Cool."

* * *

"So, what do you wanna do? There's not much on a Thursday afternoon." Ryuko was walking in step beside Satsuki, who shrugged. Putting her hands in her jacket pockets, Ryuko looked to the sky in thought.

Grinning, Ryuko leaned over to get Satsuki's attention, "I know of this new aquarium a few blocks down that does student discounts! I think it'd only be like five bucks for the both of us!" Satsuki quirked an eyebrow, "What are we, on a middle school field trip?"

"I'll pay for you, shit. Come on! There's like nothing else that costs any less around here, plus they let you talk in there, unlike most museum-type places." Ryuko was still grinning while Satsuki made her decision.

Sighing, Satsuki said, "Okay, but if they don't have penguins I'm leaving."

Walking into the aquarium, both girls showed their ID's, Ryuko giving Satsuki a smug look as she handed the cashier a five-dollar bill to cover the expense.

On the right was a giant glass walkway with benches in the middle to sit and watch all the fish and other water inhabitants. Grabbing a pamphlet, Satsuki scanned it looking for the direction of her penguins. Looking up at Ryuko, she saw the younger girl crouched down almost like a frog would sit, gazing at an enormous sea turtle with wonder. "Fucking huge…. Hey! Satsuki! Come look at this!"

Standing next to Ryuko, Satsuki felt a hand on her leg. Checking the source, she saw Ryuko still staring at the sea turtle, but she had let her hand lightly grip Satsuki's calf. "I see it. The penguins are near the end, of course. Best for last."

As if snapping out of a trance, Ryuko took her hand off Satsuki, and stood up. Leading the way, Ryuko put her hands in her pockets and tried to identify as many fish by name as she could. They even made a competition out of it; whoever named the most didn't have to pay for their next meal.

Satsuki could tell that Ryuko was almost hell bent on letting her win, though it looked like she was struggling with not blurting things out before Satsuki. Smirking, Satsuki let her have what she wanted and preceded to name every fish they passed without Ryuko get a word in edgewise.

Stopping at the penguins, Satsuki let a real smile shine through. They were her favorite animals, no matter what anyone said. Not only were they adept in water and land, but they were also very group oriented. They sometimes trekked in the thousands, never leaving each other behind.

"You really like penguins, don't you?" Satsuki could her the mirth in Ryuko's tone. Letting it slide, Satsuki hummed in confirmation. "They're pretty cool, I guess. Why do you like them so much?"

Tearing her eyes from the flightless birds, Satsuki turned to look at Ryuko, "I'm not sure. They just kind of speak to me, I suppose." She had never told anyone besides Nonon her love for the creatures, and even that was on accident. She could go on for hours about how they were a superior species, the only thing keeping them from conquering the sky being their wings.

Ryuko gave her a strange look before shrugging and saying, "Man, you must like them a lot if you won't tell me the real reason," she laughed, "I'm all ears anytime you wanna run your mouth about them for real. Nerd."

Satsuki smirked. It was strange to have someone who could read her so well after such a small amount of time. On the other hand, Ryuko wasn't that hard to read, either. "Some day."

Still glancing around the small room full of different species of penguins, Satsuki felt Ryuko's fingers brush her own. Not moving her hand, Satsuki continued to observe the Emperor Penguins in front of her. The backs of their hands were touching, and Ryuko, with a not-so-subtle deep breath, shyly laced a few of her fingers with Satsuki's.

Satsuki almost laughed.  _So she's all bark and no bite, then._  Suddenly, Ryuko let go of her hand and grabbed it again, this time linking their fingers properly. Showing her approval, Satsuki rubbed her thumb along Ryuko's. "Are you done gawking? There's a shark tank I've been wanting to look at for the past fifteen minutes."

Taking one last look at her precious penguins, Satsuki led Ryuko out of the room with their joined hands.

* * *

"Oh, man! I'm so stuffed! I fucking love buffets!" Patting her stomach with her free hand, Ryuko turned to Satsuki, "Are we still on for next week?"

Satsuki nodded, "I do apologize for the reschedule. This semester is starting out harder than I had originally anticipated."

Stopping outside the bookstore Ryuko leaned against the brick wall, hand still linked with Satsuki's, "It's no problem. I'm only taking a few classes and they're already kicking my ass."

Satsuki hummed, finding nothing else to say. Glancing down the avenue she saw there was almost no one on the streets. What she didn't see was Ryuko nervously chewing on her lip, having an internal struggle.

Feeling the hand connected with hers pull, Satsuki looked at Ryuko. Nothing about her expression was uninviting, so she took a step forward wordlessly. Ryuko's other hand came to life and rested on Satsuki's hip, pulling her closer.

Putting her free hand on Ryuko's shoulder, Satsuki leaned in, glancing at Ryuko's lips in the process. Apparently this was all the action Ryuko required from her, because she wrapped her arm around Satsuki's waist fully, tugging her so that their faces were inches apart.

Their breath mingling, Ryuko swallowed roughly. Satsuki brushed her hand along Ryuko's neck and threaded her fingers into her hair, finally closing the space between them. Feeling Ryuko's grip on her hand and waist tighten almost immediately, Satsuki nearly grinned.

Breaking away and lingering, Satsuki kissed Ryuko's cheek before pulling away completely. Ryuko gave her a small smile, cheeks pinker than before. "So, uh, why don't we exchange numbers or something so you don't have to walk all the way over here to cancel on me next week." Chuckling, Satsuki pulled out her phone and handed it to her, Ryuko doing the same.

Stepping out of Ryuko's embrace, Satsuki gave her hand one last squeeze goodbye before she started down the street, feeling Ryuko's stare at her back until she turned the corner, completely unaware of the perky blonde pig-tailed woman lurking in the shadows.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> plot, plot, and more plot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please note the rating change

Yawning, Ryuko put her hands behind her head and said, "Shit, I'm so fucking tired." Walking back to the bookstore after their dates had become standard in the last month or so. Satsuki was sure that Ryuko was killing herself doing assignments early so she would have time to spend with her; she wasn't one to judge, though, since she was doing the same thing.

Keeping silent, Satsuki went over the things she needed to do the next day before she came back to the store tomorrow night. Bringing her hand up, she threaded her fingers through Ryuko's hair, thumb rubbing just behind her ear. Ryuko sighed and slowed her pace, "Yeah, if you keep doing that I'm gonna fall asleep standing up."

Satsuki chuckled, "Just a few more feet." Stopping in front of the store, Ryuko fished out her keys and unlocked the door. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, right?" She didn't even wait for an answer, grabbing Satsuki's jaw pulling her in for a kiss.

"Of course. Remember to check your email. That professor I told you about has most likely made her decision about who she wants to work with by now." She kissed Ryuko's forehead goodbye and turned to leave. What she didn't expect was the sudden familiar shiver down her spine as the door to the shop closed.

_Nui._ Gritting her teeth, Satsuki walked in the direction of her apartment slowly, mind racing with the fact that her younger sister was somewhere around her, watching. Turning the corner, she stopped and waited.

"Aw! I was gonna surprise you!"

Mouth curling down in annoyance, Satsuki said, "Don't you have something else to do?"

Appearing in front of her, the girl with enormous blonde pigtails grinned. "Why are you always so cold to me? I just want to hang out with my awesome big sister!" Getting in Satsuki's face and giggling, Nui went to touch Satsuki's hair.

Satsuki's brows furrowed. Why was she here? Their house was in another city; the only reason she would be looking for her is if their mother commanded her to do it. Patience thinning, Satsuki slapped her hand out of the way and said, "Mother sent you, I'm assuming."

Grin widening, Nui nodded like a child, "Yep! She misses you, Satsuki! Nothing is the same without you at home. Come back already!" Knowing the implications, Satsuki's frown deepened. "I'm not done with school. That was the deal, if you remember."

Pouting, Nui clasped her hands together in front of her, "Aw, are you sure? I saw you were thinking about continuing and getting a Master's degree…" Eyes widening, Satsuki set her jaw. "I was thinking about it. I haven't made a decision, yet."

It was strange that Nui already knew about her plans after graduation, then again she shouldn't have been surprised. Nui knew many things she shouldn't. "If that's all you've come to say, I'll be taking my leave." Gripping her bag tighter on her shoulder, Satsuki didn't wait for a response and began walking again.

She needed to get Nui out of this area, away from Ryuko. Hearing Nui gasp, she gripped her bag tighter. Turning around, she saw the last person she wanted to see running full speed towards them with a piece of paper in hand.

"Satsuki!" Waving at her, Ryuko said her name again right before she crashed into her, almost knocking them both down to the ground. Holding Ryuko by the hips, Satsuki almost forgot Nui was still there, watching their interaction with too much interest. Ryuko apparently didn't notice her at all, grabbing Satsuki's face with both hands and kissing her like they were the only people on the street.

Before Satsuki could even react to the kiss, Ryuko broke away grinning, "Look," she showed Satsuki the paper in her hand, "the professor says she wants me to help her write a paper and present it at that huge national conference next quarter!" Still smiling, Ryuko kissed Satsuki again, tangling their fingers together with her free hand. "Thanks so much for telling me about how cool she was."

Satsuki was stunned. She was immensely proud of Ryuko, but she could almost recite what her sister was about to say. Gripping Ryuko's hand tighter, she said, "I told you you had nothing to worry about. You're a great student."

"Well, well, well." Giggling, Nui leaned on Satsuki's shoulder, earning a glare from the older sister, "I didn't know about this, Satsuki. Why didn't you tell me about your cute friend here?" Glancing at Ryuko, Satsuki needed to clear this up quick, before there was a misunderstanding.

"I don't have to tell you anything, Nui. Get off me." Nui gave Ryuko a smile so sweet it would've made a lesser woman's stomach turn. Frowning, Satsuki started walking the opposite direction, back to the bookstore, Ryuko in tow. Leaning up, Ryuko whispered in her ear, "Holy crap is that the crazy sister you told me about?"

Satsuki didn't have a chance to answer; Nui had already blocked their path. "Sissy, I'd appreciate it if you didn't ignore me in front of your friends." Looking at Ryuko, she said, "What's your name, cutie?"

Satsuki felt the hand she was holding tighten around hers, "Hey. I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel like talking to you right now. Neither do I for that matter, so if you'd be so kind as to let us be on our way, that'd be really fucking great."

Inwardly grinning, Satsuki schooled her face into the mask she was known for a few years back, "Good Night, Nui. I don't expect to see you again for a while. Understand?"

Scoffing, Nui smiled and said, "Satsuki, I'll always be here for you, don't you worry." Turning on her heel, she skipped away without another word.

Ryuko turned back to Satsuki after she was sure Nui was gone, "Dang, I didn't even see her when I ran into you. She was there the whole time?" Nodding silently, Satsuki mulled over how she needed to move forward from the whole confrontation. What was the best course of action? She knew that she needed to keep Nui away from Ryuko, but was there a way to be discrete about it?

Feeling Ryuko's forehead gently tap her temple, Satsuki snapped out of her thoughts. "Dang, she must've done a number on you. I've never seen that face on you before. Not that I've known you for forever or anything… but still." Shaking her head Satsuki gave her a small smile and said, "It's nothing. I just wasn't expecting to see her, that's all."

Searching Satsuki's eyes, Ryuko sighed and shrugged, "Okay. Well I guess just, uh. I'll text you tomorrow or something. Yeah. Okay." Letting go of Satsuki's hand Ryuko grinned goodbye and turned the corner to the bookstore, leaving Satsuki to wonder how she was going to deal with this new development.

* * *

"So. How's it going with that bookstore chick?" Nonon grinned as she shoveled spaghetti into her mouth. Satsuki put her drink down, clearing her throat, "Fine."

Nonon slammed her fork down, "Oh there's gotta be more than that. You haven't called me in, like, a fuckin' month. Seriously. How's it going? You like her? Is she as weird as I think she is?"

Sighing, Satsuki crossed her arms, "It's going fine. I do like her. She is an oddity, but very attentive," shrugging, Satsuki looked at Nonon, "I don't know what else you want me to tell you."

Nonon laughed and grinned wider, "That's the most you've ever said about someone you're dating. How long has it been, again? A couple months, right?"

Satsuki uncrossed her arms and grabbed her fork, twirling spaghetti absently, "It's been a few months." Taking a bite, Satsuki looked up at Nonon, who was nodding her head enthusiastically.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. Wait. If you've been together for a few months—"

"Nonon, no. Not in a restaurant—"

"How is she in bed? I bet she likes—"

Why would she answer something like that? That was personal information. Pointing her fork between Nonon's eyes like a weapon she said, "I'll answer one more question about her. One. Choose wisely."

They sat in silence for a few moments, Nonon mulling over what her one question would be and Satsuki dreading having to answer whatever she asked. Taking a drink, Nonon looked at Satsuki more serious than she had been in a while.

"How did she react to your… Anorgasmia?"

Putting a hand to her face, mostly to feel if it was as hot as she thought it was, Satsuki said, "She was fine with it. The first time she was concerned, like the others. The next few times though, she was adamant that we do whatever I was comfortable with, which was nice."

Thinking back to her past relationships, most of them tried too hard the second time, trying to prove her body wrong. It pissed her off. If she couldn't do it, she couldn't do it. Overstimulation only made it worse. Those relationships were ended accordingly.

"Although, recently, the last time we were together, she…" Satsuki knew her face was on fire. Just remembering how close she was and piecing it with the fact that every time they were together she got closer and closer was too embarrassing. "She's very thoughtful."

Nonon had her mouth hanging open in shock. "Wait. She actually got you to…?"

"N-No, but we're almost there. She's letting me go at my own pace. I appreciate it more than she'll ever know." Swallowing roughly, Satsuki twirled more spaghetti on her fork and shoved it in her mouth, mostly to keep it occupied.

Humming, Nonon finished her plate and said, "Well, I'm glad you've found someone. I can tell she makes you happy." Satsuki nodded and waved the waitress over to pay the check.

"What about the headaches? You still get those?"

Putting her wallet on the table, Satsuki hummed, thinking, "Well, yes?" she shook her head, "It's still every time I try and sleep with someone, but as of late they're getting more and more painful, like my brain is about to shatter my skull from the inside out."

Nonon's eyes were wide, "Shit. That's fucking graphic." Blinking, she continued, "Well, you've gone to the doctor, right? What did they say about it?"

Satsuki set her jaw, "I went last week. They said it was a defense mechanism. Somehow my body is reacting to something that isn't there but has been there before? Like muscle memory or something." sighing, Satsuki looked at Nonon tiredly, "I'm not sure what it means."

Rubbing her eyes, Satsuki continued, "They connected it to my Anorgasmia, saying that and my headaches were most likely caused by the same event." narrowing her eyes, looking at nothing in particular she sighed, "It's disturbing. I feel like I would remember something like that."

"Hopefully that's not what it is," Nonon fumed from across the table, "if it was, I would fucking kill whoever did it. I would make them suffer. Tear their eyes out first, so they would be blind—"

The doctors had told her much more then she had told Nonon, that it had to have been a reoccurring event for her to react the way she does. It was unsettling enough to think it had happened once. She could never tell her, not with how she was currently reacting. She had to change the subject, fast.

"Speaking of psychopaths, I saw Nui a while back." Glancing up from the bill, Satsuki reacted before Nonon could scream, slapping her hand over her mouth. Nonon's eyes were wide, and Satsuki warned her not to yell before she took her hand off her face.

"Are you fucking serious? When? What the hell is she doing here?" Grabbing Satsuki's hand across the table, Nonon leaned in closer, lowering her voice to a whisper, "Did she see you?"

Keeping her voice at the same level, Satsuki said, "Almost two months ago. We spoke. She knew about my plans after this semester and Ryuko was there at the time, so she knows about her too, which concerns me greatly."

Leaning back, she continued, "I have no idea why she was here. She just told me that Mother missed me and that I should come home already. I have no intention of doing so, by the way," she furrowed her brows, "Like hell I'm going back there."

Nonon shook her head, confused, "But I thought the deal you made was to go to school to get a degree and then take over REVOCS after your mom retired? I mean I know your home life wasn't that great, but that's mostly cause Nui's a little shithead. Getting to take over a huge corporation when you graduate is kind of a big deal."

"That was the original plan, yes. After speaking with a few representatives and Soroi, I've discovered that Mother has different plans. She's already let Nui join the company as the Grand Couturier, which wasn't in our original agreement. She's always favored Nui, though, so I'm not that surprised."

Nonon whistled, "Shit. That's why you wanna get your Masters, then. So you don't get screwed by your Mom?"

Satsuki nodded, "It's all I can do at the moment. My patience has run thin."

* * *

Waking up to Ryuko's light snoring wasn't a problem or annoyance to Satsuki, it was becoming more of a reassurance; hearing Ryuko next to her as soon as she woke was more of a comfort than an alarm.

Rubbing the heel of her free hand into her eyes, waking up a little more, she felt Ryuko stir next to her. Grip tightening on her hip, Ryuko nuzzled her face deeper into Satsuki's shoulder, nose on her collarbone. Satsuki's other arm was cradling her head; hand on her upper back drawing small lazy patterns.

Yawning, Ryuko's eyes opened blearily. Looking up and seeing Satsuki was already awake she gave her a lazy grin, "'Mornin'." Satsuki noticed her voice, slurred with sleep, was lower than usual. With a knowing smile she asked what she was so pleased about.

"Nothin' much," she leaned up to kiss Satsuki's jaw, "just happy you got to enjoy yourself more than usual." Leaning over to kiss her properly, Ryuko ran her hand up and down Satsuki's side, making her wrap her own arms around Ryuko's lower back, tugging her closer.

"Sorry about that, towards the end. My head just kept getting worse, so—" Getting cut off by Ryuko's mouth on her own, Satsuki rolled her eyes. "I've told you before, you need to tell me when it starts so we can stop and try to fix it from there." Rubbing her nose against Ryuko's, Satsuki sighed, "Yes, I know."

Pressing their foreheads together, she closed her eyes in thought. She had remembered something last night, something that was equal parts unnerving and puzzling.

She had seen a vision of someone above her, and felt an ice-cold hand sliding down her stomach. It was too bright to see the person's face, but the fear she felt was too real for it to be a dream. It had to be a memory.

She knew she was playing with fire. Diving head first into things that her brain kept on lockdown was dangerous. The day she remembered everything her life would never be the same. She could already tell from the flash of memory she saw the night before.

What bothered her most was that nobody had ever talked about it at home. She had a rising suspicion that her mother had gotten them all to keep their mouths shut or had kept the situation a secret from them. If it was the latter… Satsuki didn't want to think about that.

The question was why. Why was it a secret? Why had she blocked it out? How had she blocked it out? Was it truly a memory or some sort of weird test her mother forced her into when she was younger like she did with Nui?

More importantly, she wanted to know who had done it; when she found them, she would show them the same amount of mercy her mother had shown her growing up: None.

Feeling Ryuko lean away from her, Satsuki opened her eyes. Ryuko ran her thumb between her eyebrows, causing her eyes to slip shut again. "Try not to think about it too much. Whatever happened to you…" Ryuko didn't finish.

Satsuki had told her about the headaches after the first few times they were together. Ryuko had pieced it together quickly and was greatly concerned, but Satsuki tried reassuring her that it would be fine, and that she had prescribed meds on the way.

Cracking an eye open, Satsuki said, "We don't have to talk about it. In fact, I would prefer that." Ryuko looked apprehensive but didn't say anything, for which Satsuki was grateful.

"Okay, what do you wanna talk about?" Ryuko ran her hand through Satsuki's hair, patiently waiting for a response. Sighing, Satsuki let her back hit the mattress, tugging Ryuko along with her, "It doesn't matter. We can stay silent like we do when you're too tired to talk."

Ryuko grinned, "So you do notice!" Satsuki grunted and raised a brow, not sure what she meant. Laughing, Ryuko leaned in and kissed her cheek, letting her lips linger, "I thought I was the observant one, but I guess you're just as perceptive as me."

Satsuki narrowed her eyes, "What does that even mean? You think I wouldn't notice your quirks or something? You really are a fool sometimes."

Sighing, Ryuko explained, "What I mean is, you never voice stuff like that. Like how you know shit about me that most people don't. I know so much crap about you it's ridiculous."

Sensing the challenge, Satsuki took the bait, "Oh? Let's see just how observant you are, then," grinning, she turned to face Ryuko, "What's my favorite brand of tea?"

Ryuko laughed, "Bullshit. There's no brand, you take the fucking leaves out of mail envelops like the drug lord you are. Who sends that shit to you anyway?"

Satsuki was grinning, "An old friend. Okay, my turn. Ask me something about you."

Ryuko hummed, "Alright. What's my dream car?"

Satsuki snorted, "It's not a car. It's that god-awful motorbike you won't stop looking at on Craigslist."

"Oh yeah? What color—"

"Red."

Ryuko pouted, "Fine." Leaning over, she pressed her mouth to Satsuki's. "I like that you know that stuff." She bit her ear, playful, "It makes me feel like less of a creep."

"It's not creepy. It shows you're actually interested in who I am." Satsuki grabbed Ryuko's face with both hands, "I like that you know things about me. To be honest, I tell you more things about me than I tell my friends. I trust you. You can trust me, too."

Ryuko looked troubled, "Of course I trust you."

Satsuki gave her a look and said, "You can tell me anything, you know. Is there something that's bothering you?"

"Can we get breakfast first? I'm starving." Satsuki blinked at the sudden change in subject and said, "Sure, if you want."

Getting out of bed, Satsuki went through her closet to find some clean clothes for Ryuko. "Here, you left this here some time ago." Handing her a plain purple t-shirt, she explained, "I ended up washing it for you, so it's nice and clean."

Ryuko took it from her, smelling it. "Ah, smells good. Smells like you, a bit, actually."

Satsuki gave her a pointed look after going through her drawers to find pants for herself. Ryuko yawned and found the pants she had thrown on the floor the night before, tugging them on lazily. "Yo, zip me up."

Satsuki turned to her, fully dressed, and rolled her eyes. "Are you gonna make me do this every time?" Ryuko just grinned.

Walking over, Satsuki grabbed Ryuko's open jeans and buttoned them. Leaning down, she kissed Ryuko and zipped her fly simultaneously. Keeping their mouths connected, Ryuko sighed contently before breaking away, "Come on, there's no way you don't like that." She tangled their fingers, waving their connected arms in the air.

"You're such a child."

* * *

Getting her coffee, Ryuko took a drink and let out a pleased sigh. "When I was younger, like, super young, I had this friend of mine that I would play with in my neighborhood."

Satsuki nodded, "This is what you wanted to talk about earlier?"

Tracing the rim of her cup, Ryuko hummed in confirmation, "So, yeah, we were really close. I never knew his real name, though. When I met him the first thing he said to me was that I needed to cover my wounds. I didn't even know it, but I had a cut on my arm at the time, and he patched it up for me right there.

"I called him Senketsu, as a memento of our first meeting, and he never complained. He didn't have any parents or family that I knew of, and one time he told me he couldn't even remember his real name. I felt bad for him. We were one and the same, though. My dad was still doing his research back then, so he was never around for me.

"Senketsu and I, we were two peas, man. We never went anywhere without each other. We always stuck up for each other. I loved him," Ryuko looked down, hair hiding her eyes, both hands on her cup, squeezing.

"I still do. I lost him in a fire. He burned to ashes. His anniversary is today."

Satsuki was stunned. Eyes wide, she put both hands around Ryuko's in silent support. Sniffing, Ryuko looked up with glossy eyes, "It's still hard to talk about, as you can see." Blinking a few times, Ryuko moved her hands away from her mug and took Satsuki's hands in her own. Bringing them up to her mouth she kissed her fingers and said, "Thanks for listening."

Satsuki hummed.

"Well," Ryuko grinned at her, "What do you wanna do today?" Satsuki felt a small smile break form on her face, "It doesn't matter."

The waitress came with their respective orders and they both dug in silently. Satsuki felt that Ryuko needed the quiet to gather her thoughts. Chewing on her fork, she began to speculate about how she should move forward from this semester. She felt the need to get the Master's degree to buy herself more time before her mother confronted her.

Knowing what she did about Nui's promotion, she had a gut feeling that her promise with the CEO was going to fallout in the near future. Her original plan was to take over the company and change almost every aspect of it. She didn't like how her mother did things, even though they got the job done.

Satsuki's values were different than that of her mother's. She had hid her opinion well enough throughout her years at the estate, but Nui was a troubling factor. Since Nui knew that their mother was on her side, she would stop at nothing to make Satsuki admit her distaste for the way her mother ran things.

"Hey. What are you thinking about?" Snapping out of her thoughts, she looked at Ryuko. She hadn't noticed how appealing Ryuko looked this morning, so she decided to avoid the question with flattery, "You know, underneath all that bluster, you really are pretty."

It had worked; Ryuko flushed to her ears, "Shit. You never say stuff like that."

Satsuki shrugged, "What? Do you not want me to say what I think?"

Ryuko rolled her eyes, "Well, guess what?" giving Satsuki a shit-eating grin she said, "I think you're fucking gorgeous."

Feeling the heat rise onto her cheeks, Satsuki rested her chin in her palm, looking anywhere but Ryuko. "Again with the boldness."

Ryuko laughed, "I thought you'd be used to it by now,  _Princess._ "

Eyes narrowing, Satsuki grinned, "You'd better think twice before you call me that again, you little shit."

"Fine. Would it make you feel better if I called you my  _Queen_?" Holding a composed face for almost two seconds, Ryuko couldn't take it anymore. Doubling over, she laughed so loud the old man across from them told her to watch it, before he called the cops on her ass.

"Shut it, old man! I'm not doing anything disruptive!" Still chuckling, Ryuko sighed.

Satsuki was grinding her teeth, trying her best to talk herself out of smashing her plate on the top of Ryuko's head for her teasing. She couldn't see a downside, looking up from her plate to Ryuko, judging the distance, she caught Ryuko's eye.

She was doing that thing where she looked at her like she was the only person in the room. Sighing, Satsuki said, "Let's hurry up and pay before they kick us out, again."

"As you wish, my  _Sun and Stars_." Satsuki couldn't help the grin that split her face. "So you  _are_  watching it! See? I told you it was fantastic."

Ryuko kissed her cheek as they left, "I can't imagine what all your business friends would say if they knew how much of a nerd you are."

Satsuki elbowed her side, still smiling, and tangled their fingers on the way down the street.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nightmares, medieval fantasy shows, and holy shit more plot

_The room was blindingly white, walls sleek as glass and the fluorescent lights above adding to the intensity, reflecting light off the walls. Blinking and putting a hand up to shade her eyes, Satsuki looked around, trying to understand how she got there._

_She last thing she remembered was talking to Ryuko on the phone. She'd have to apologize for her inattentiveness later. Feeling the beginning of a migraine, she put a hand to her temple, shutting her eyes._

_The room seemed familiar, but at the same time she could've sworn she'd never been there in her life. It was a type of déjà vu she did not want to be having at the moment._

_Sighing and looking around, she observed that towards the middle of the room, almost two feet away from her, was a stark-clean kitchen knife. "What the hell?"_

_Hearing the wall opposite her creak, Satsuki snapped her head up, tensing instinctively. It appeared to be some kind of door. Feeling a familiar and unwelcome shiver up her spine, her eyes widened._

" _Hey Sissy! I've got something you might wanna see! She's so cute," Nui giggled, hardly able to contain her giddiness, "I can't believe you just fell asleep like that while she was here, that's not very smart, you know."_

_Nui turned back into the doorway, grabbing the person she was talking about by the lapel of their jacket. Satsuki's heart stopped._

_Throwing Ryuko in front of her, Nui laughed outright, "You never know what might happen when you leave pretty girls alone with me!"_

_Satsuki could only stare. Ryuko had so many cuts and bruises it looked like she had just fought a couple of full-grown rhinos. Coughing up blood, Ryuko picked her head up to look at Satsuki, gasping when their eyes connected. "S-Sats—"_

_Nui stepped on her back, making her wheeze and cough again. "No, no. No talking, girlie," Nui grinned maliciously at Satsuki, "We've got an agenda."_

_Satsuki clenched her teeth. She had to stay calm. Nui was a loose cannon, one wrong step from blowing them all away. "What's going on."_

_Nui giggled again, the unease rolling around in Satsuki's stomach heavily, "Nothing, just hanging out with your little girlfriend here. Mother told me that you shouldn't spend so much time with her though, so I thought I'd help you out."_

_Satsuki opened her mouth, only to find she had no thoughts to speak. Her mind had gone blank with fear. She wanted to vomit. Swallowing, she said, "What does that mean. I don't need your help."_

_Nui started playing with the end of her pigtail, "Well, it's not hard to see. Your grades have been slipping, you know. You spend too much time with her, it's taking a toll on your future."_

_Satsuki narrowed her eyes, "How would you know about my grades? What does it matter?"_

_Nui put her other foot on Ryuko's back, pressing down. Ryuko grunted, still looking at Satsuki, eyes dazed from the pain. "They matter because Mother won't have anything less than your best. You understand that, don't you?" Nui crossed her arms, "Sissy, I thought you knew all this."_

" _I can get my grades up without this nonsense. This is like what you pulled with Nonon in high school; stop, you don't need to push this any further."_

_Nui jumped back, off of Ryuko, "I'm just teaching you a lesson you should've learned a long time ago." Satsuki's eyes widened. Going to defend Ryuko, though, she found she was chained to the wall, shackles around her wrists, stopping her from getting any closer._

_Nui kicked Ryuko's side, hard. "You need to learn, Satsuki," she kicked her again, grinning like a maniac, "distractions are what stop us from doing our best," she eyed the knife a few feet from Ryuko, "they need to be disposed of properly."_

_Satsuki struggled against the chains, metal cuffs digging into her wrists, making them bleed with her effort. "Nui, stop. There's no need for this." She was desperate._

_Nui strolled over to the knife, in no hurry, grinning wickedly. "She's gonna be so cute when I'm done," she laughed and looked at Satsuki, "You should see your face right now, this is even better than when I tried to hit that girl with your car!"_

_Even with all her strength, Satsuki couldn't break the chains by which she was bound. She looked at Ryuko, desperately. "Ryuko—" Her eyes darted back to Nui, who was playing with the knife as if it were a toy._

_She had never been in this situation before. Feeling total loss of control, she pushed with her feet, not caring if she ripped her arms off from the pull of the chains. She gasped and pushed even harder when she saw Nui take Ryuko by the hair, pulling her up to her feet._

" _Satsuki—" Ryuko stopped when the knife came to her throat, and Nui shushing her. "Now, now. I thought we said no talking." Pressing the blade further, she said, "Speak again and I'll paint the floor with your blood."_

_Satsuki was sure the panic was clearly written on her face, and the way Nui was smiling made her even worse. It was so sick. Tasting bile, Satsuki spoke slowly, "Ryuko, don't say anymore. Please. She's serious."_

_Eyes darting back to Nui she continued, "Look, I'll get my act together, okay? This is more than enough incentive. Tell Mother that it's handled, and let Ryuko go."_

_Nui looked up at the ceiling, humming, "Something tells me you're a liar," she positioned the knife at Ryuko's jugular, "This girl made you a liar."_

" _No, she didn't. I'm not lying, Nui, I swear. Let her go. Please."_

" _No, I don't think so." Satsuki grit her teeth, on the verge of tears. Looking at Ryuko, she knew. She couldn't stop this. Who could? The pain of the steel cuffs cutting her skin open was nothing compared to the terror she felt in that moment._

_Right before Nui slit Ryuko's throat, Satsuki saw Ryuko move her lips to say her last words. Satsuki had never felt so numb in her life._

_Her blood poured across the white tile of the floor, staining it a brilliant red._

" _Wow! So pretty!" Nui dropped Ryuko's body. Hearing it hit the floor, skull cracking against the tile and more blood spilling was too much for Satsuki. Turning away, she vomited, tears flowing down her face._

_Nui, knife still in hand, walked over to Satsuki. "Now, it's your turn."_

_Satsuki turned to face her, teeth bared, livid. "Fuck you!"_

_The last thing she saw was the point of a blade between her eyes._

Sitting up straight, Satsuki gasped for air. What the hell was that? Ripping the covers off her bed, she sat on the edge, hands on her knees, panting. Vision blurry, she reached up to touch her face, finding tears. She needed to hear Ryuko's voice right now, to know she was okay.

Taking a shaky breath she grabbed her phone off of the nightstand and dialed Ryuko's number. She picked up on the second ring.  _"Satsuki, hey, what's up?"_  Satsuki sighed with relief. Hearing her voice made her feel a little better, knowing she was alive and not bleeding out on a white washed floor.

" _Satsuki?"_  Ryuko let out a puff of laughter,  _"Oh my God, are you sleep dialing me? That's fucking adorable."_  Realizing she hadn't said anything, Satsuki took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure. "Ryuko."

" _What's wrong?"_  Hearing the concern in Ryuko's voice made Satsuki grip her phone tighter. Her first instinct was to tell her nothing was wrong, and that it was late and to get some rest, but she knew better. She could trust Ryuko.

"I—" Images of the dream flooded her mind; Nui's twisted grin, Ryuko on the floor, dead.

Gritting her teeth, she tried again, "I had a nightmare."

After almost ten seconds of silence, Ryuko spoke up.  _"I'll be there in twenty minutes. Think you can wait for me?"_

Satsuki gripped her knee for support, "Of course, I'll wait for you. I'm sorry I woke you up, I know you have an early class tomorrow." She heard clothes rustling on the other line.

" _Nah, it's fine. I'll stay on the line, too. You don't have to say anything, though."_ Satsuki felt like crying in relief. "Thank you."

After a minute or two, Ryuko spoke up again,  _"Okay, I'm leaving. I'll be there soon, just hold on a bit longer."_  Truthfully, Satsuki didn't mind when Ryuko babied her like this. It was nice, compared to everyone always looking to her for support, she was glad she could lean on Ryuko sometimes.

The minutes ticked by, but hearing Ryuko's breathing on the phone made it better. Satsuki could tell she was running, the way her breaths were coming out, short and fast. Taking a deep breath through her nose, Satsuki attempted to calm down a little more. It was just a dream.

Rubbing at her wrists, Satsuki closed her eyes. She could still feel the chains on her, the shackles that prevented her from saving Ryuko. She felt the bile rise again.

" _Okay, I'm at your building."_ Satsuki bounced her leg in anxiety, she needed to see her, now. She couldn't stop herself from voicing her thoughts, unfiltered, "Hurry."

Ryuko was silent on the other line until Satsuki heard a knock on her door. Opening it with the receiver still at her ear, Satsuki dropped her phone when she saw Ryuko.

"It's raining."

She was soaking wet. Satsuki hadn't been so relieved since she pushed Nonon out of the way of her own car all those years ago.

Pulling Ryuko in by her jacket, trying to ignore the fact that it was the same one she wore in the nightmare, Satsuki hugged her, burying her face in Ryuko's hair. She smelled like rain, and Satsuki couldn't care less if holding her was wetting her own clothes. Ryuko hugged her back, whispering assurances in her ear and kissing her hair.

Leaning back, Satsuki pulled Ryuko's mouth to hers, cupping her face. Feeling Ryuko so close to her made Satsuki want to cry in relief. The dream had been so vivid, and Nui was so realistic; it was truly terrifying.

Rubbing noses with her, Satsuki opened her eyes, seeing Ryuko try to mask her horribly concealed worry. Resting her forehead on Satsuki's, Ryuko asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Rubbing her thumb across Ryuko's cheek, Satsuki closed her eyes, trying to gather her thoughts. "You don't have to, I just think it might make you feel better." Satsuki kissed her appreciatively, "No, I do want to talk about it, just give me a few moments."

After a minute or two, Satsuki spoke, "You died. In my dream." Opening her eyes, she saw Ryuko furrow her brows for a fraction of a second; eyes blazing with something Satsuki had only seen a handful of times.

One hand coming up and tucking some hair behind Satsuki's ear, Ryuko leaned in and gave her the gentlest kiss she had ever received. It was similar to their usual kisses, but this had the tone of something much deeper attached to it. It took Satsuki's breath away.

"I'll be the little spoon tonight, then."

Satsuki laughed, "Good."

After a few more kisses, she drew back, tugging at Ryuko's jacket. At the questioning look from her, Satsuki clarified, "You're soaked."

Ryuko's cheeks pinked and she snorted, eyeing Satsuki from waist down, "Well, I mean. You are wearing those volleyball shorts. So yeah, sure." She grinned at her own stupid joke, making Satsuki do the same, but not after shoving her shoulder hard enough to take a few steps back, "You know what I mean, you absolute child."

Ryuko rolled her eyes and took off her jacket, "Hey, do you still have some of my clothes from last time?"

Satsuki already beat her to it, handing her a t-shirt and shorts to change into. Ryuko had the nerve to look disappointed. "What's wrong with these?" Satsuki couldn't help it. She felt terrible for waking her up in the middle of the night to come to her apartment to cuddle her like some child.

Ryuko shrugged, taking the clothes, "Nothin'. Just sometimes I wanna wear your shit, you know? I was talking about stuff for the day tomorrow. But it's fine whatever—"

"No, no. I'll get you something, hold on." Satsuki went back to her dresser and picked out a shirt had had been sleeping in a few days before, handing it to Ryuko, "Here. It's kinda loose, so it's comfy." Ryuko grinned and ripped off the wet shirt she was wearing in exchange for the dry shirt, taking off her bra as well.

Satsuki pinked at that. She still wasn't used to how comfortable Ryuko was around her sometimes, not that she minded. Taking her pants off, Ryuko looked up at Satsuki, who was trying her best not to stare, "Do you have any of my underwear by chance?"

Satsuki went to her dresser again, fishing out some old boy shorts Ryuko had worn some time ago, throwing them at her. "Sweet!" Taking out an old sweatshirt, Satsuki switched shirts as well.

Once Ryuko was changed and ready for bed, Satsuki lied down facing her, holding her like a comfort object.

"You're shaking."

Satsuki blinked, "Oh. Sorry."

"Moron, don't apologize for it. Look, here—" Ryuko rolled on top of her, stilling her movements. Ryuko's weight on top of her calmed her almost immediately. The adrenaline seemed to melt away as her body relaxed itself.

"Better?"

Satsuki nodded. Ryuko started to rub above her eyebrow, relaxing her even more; whispering things in her ear that would've made her face turn red if she wasn't so tired. Lowering her hand from the small of Ryuko's back, Satsuki pushed her fingers underneath Ryuko's—or  _her_  shirt, lightly scratching with her nails. "You're freezing."

Moving her other hand underneath the cloth as well, Satsuki rubbed Ryuko's back to try and warm her up. Their faces were so close she could see the moment Ryuko's pupils dilated, the blue of her iris turning into a thin ring. Ryuko dipped her head to place lazy kisses on Satsuki's throat, moaning when she scratched an otherwise hard to reach spot on her back.

Now she felt even worse. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to excite you." Ryuko laughed. "Nah, it's fine," she kissed her languidly, "I've got a test tomorrow anyway, if I skipped I would fail the class." Before Satsuki could apologize again, Ryuko shushed her, "Shut it, I came here cause I wanted, you didn't make me. Got it? This was my decision."

Satsuki grunted, but kept her hands where they were. Ryuko put her face on the pillow next to Satsuki's head, closing her eyes and falling asleep almost immediately. Satsuki held her, nightmare mostly forgotten by then, and felt her eyes slip shut, falling into a dreamless sleep.

She only woke up a few times; once when Ryuko rolled off of her at some point in the night, and another time hearing a bunch of pots and pans clattering to the floor in her kitchen, followed by a singular "Bitch!"

She felt Ryuko's weight above her some time later, whispering that she'll be back after her classes and something about tea. Satsuki cracked an eye open to look at her, relishing at how pretty she looked that morning. She must've voiced her opinion, the way Ryuko's eyes glittered with mirth.

"You're pretty, too, Satsuki."

She rolled on her stomach, still staring. Ryuko put a hand through Satsuki's bangs, combing them back, leaning down and kissing her forehead. "I'll see you when I get back, okay? Think you can wait for me?"

Satsuki mumbled her affirmation, picking her head up to kiss Ryuko properly. "Bye. Good luck on your test."

She fell asleep to the sound of her apartment door slamming and Ryuko shouting her damnation to God and all that was holy.

* * *

 

"So wait. You called her at, like, three in the morning, telling her you had a bad dream, and she fucking ran to your apartment that's like thirty minutes away in the damn rain and you guys cuddled?"

Satsuki nodded, embarrassed.

"Then, you find out she had a test the next day that's worth like half her grade, and she made you tea before she left, like, three hours later?"

Another nod.

"That's, like, shit you see in movies! Why the hell haven't I met her?"

Satsuki rolled her eyes; thankful the conversation was taking a turn, a not so pleasant one, but a turn nonetheless.

"Calm down, Nonon. You're going to meet her in a few minutes, she's meeting us here for lunch." Nonon perked up, "Holy shit, okay, cool."

They sat in silence for a few moments, glancing at the diner menus.

Hearing Ryuko's stomps coming up behind the booth, Satsuki fought back a smile.

"He fucking  _dies_? What the fuck!" Not expecting that type of greeting, Satsuki turned her head just before it was put in a headlock by her girlfriend. "Satsuki, I thought you said I would like this show. Right now I kinda fucking hate it."

Ryuko pressed her lips to the top of Satsuki's head in some kind of apology, "But it's fucking good."

Nonon chimed in, reminding them that she existed, "The books are better."

Ryuko immediately untangled herself from Satsuki, sliding into the seat next to her, "Oh, shit! Hey, you're that chick with the music books! I'm Ryuko. You know which show I'm talking about?"

Nonon nodded, "Yeah, yeah; I know who you are. You're talking about  _Game of Thrones_. The books are better. Right, Satsuki?"

Satsuki nodded, fighting the grin at the fact that Ryuko was watching the show at all. "Yes, the show kind of diverges from the books in certain places, but it's nothing too concerning. The show is still good."

Ryuko wrapped an arm around Satsuki's shoulder, "Hell yeah, it is! I didn't see the dragons coming, at all." Satsuki's nose wrinkled, "You smell."

Ryuko feigned being offended, "I just came from the gym, so."

"That's not an excuse for smelling like crap."

Ryuko grinned at Nonon, "For your information, I took a shower after my workout, she just doesn't like my deodorant."

Nonon blinked, brows furrowing, staring at Satsuki, "That's how you fucking tell her?"

Satsuki shrugged, "She knows what I mean."

Nonon glanced between the two of them, incredulous. "Wow. Uh. Okay?"

Ryuko got into Satsuki's personal space to look at the menu, kissing her cheek in proper greeting, "So, what's good here?"

After ordering, the three women made small talk. Nonon asked Ryuko about her degree and her future plans, letting Ryuko ask the same. A few moments passed and they started talking about normal things, like their favorite TV shows, movies. Satsuki sat in the window seat, leaning back, trying not to grin at how well they were getting along.

"No fucking way! So, like, it's not reality?" Ryuko was leaning forward in anticipation.

"It's his dream." Nonon grinned, sipping her coffee.

Ryuko leaned back, mind blown. She looked at Satsuki, "Can you believe this? My head just fucking exploded." Satsuki gave her a small smile, "I've been hearing Nonon's theories for years; she's very thorough. She's predicted almost every finale I've seen with her."

Ryuko gaped, "Dude, no way, that's awesome!" She leaned in, suddenly serious, "So, who do you think is gonna win the Iron Throne?"

Nonon burst out laughing, "You sweet summer child," Satsuki snorted at that, "You haven't even finished the first season, I'm not telling you shit."

Ryuko looked at Satsuki, helpless. "I finished it last night! Come on, help me out, here!" Satsuki took Ryuko's cheek with her thumb and forefinger, pinching and shaking it. "Nope. Not saying anything."

Their waitress came with the food, setting it in front of them and leaving without a word. Nonon grunted, "God, I hate when they do that." Satsuki sent her a questioning look when she started to move out of the booth. "Chill, I'm not gonna complain or anything. Gotta pee."

At Nonon's absence, Ryuko turned to Satsuki, "Ah, you didn't tell me she was that cool. I thought she was gonna be an asshole. I mean, the time I met her she was expecting me to screw her over, so I'm sure that had a lot to do with her attitude."

Satsuki leaned back playing with the denim of Ryuko's shorts, "She's a little rough around the edges, like you, but once you know her quirks, she's fine."

Ryuko hummed, leaning in for a kiss. Satsuki complied, hand moving to Ryuko's thigh, rubbing her thumb across the skin. Ryuko pulled back slightly, eyes lidded, looking at Satsuki, "Do you still have to go to that conference next week?"

"Yes."

Ryuko bumped their foreheads, hand finding Satsuki's on her leg, tangling their fingers lazily, "But if it's only two days why do you have to be gone all week?"

Satsuki chuckled, "We have to do team building activities for everyone going. We're splitting into groups and everything."

Ryuko groaned, "That's dumb."

Satsuki grinned, "I didn't know you were so clingy."

Ryuko scoffed, "Not clingy." Sobering up, she said, "I'm just worried about you, that's all. You haven't been getting any sleep since that night last week." Satsuki frowned, "I'll be fine. Don't worry about it." Ryuko gave her a skeptical look, but didn't say anything, leaning back.

Satsuki sighed, "Would you like to come over tonight? We can start the second season if you want." Ryuko grinned, "Only if you promise to make that awesome curry again. That was the bomb!" Satsuki snorted, seeing Nonon walk back up to the booth.

They mostly ate in silence, Ryuko grabbing at both of their plates, making a disgruntled noise when Nonon wouldn't let her touch her food. "Sharing is caring, you know."

Nonon snorted, "Yeah, no. Try and touch my food again and I'll rip your nails off one by one." Taking another bite, Nonon stared at Ryuko, daring her to come closer. Swallowing, she tried to make conversation, "So, Satsuki, have you seen Nui lately? Hopefully she got her ass out of town after last time."

Satsuki stilled, grip on her fork tightening and not going unnoticed by Ryuko. "No, I haven't seen her." She shut her eyes momentarily, the dream coming back to her in short waves.

"Satsuki?" She looked at Ryuko, whose brows were furrowed in concern, and back at Nonon, who wore the same expression.

Feeling Ryuko's hand on her face, gentle, Satsuki refused to meet her eyes. "She killed me, didn't she?" Satsuki frowned. She heard Nonon's almost silent 'what the fuck' and grit her teeth.

Ryuko pulled her head to her chest, voice lowering to a whisper only they could hear. "If you think that's stupid or something, it's not. Your fears aren't stupid. I'm sorry you thought you couldn't tell me."

Satsuki grunted, a signal for Ryuko to let her up. Nonon just looked confused. "It's nothing to worry about, really." Nonon wasn't having it, "What the hell is going on? Someone killed Ryuko?" eyes widening in realization, Nonon fell silent.

"It was just a dream. Nothing more." They didn't touch the subject again, finishing their meals in strained silence.

* * *

 

Stepping out of her bathroom a few hours later, Satsuki stretched, seeing Ryuko cross-legged on her bed eyes glued to her TV. She smirked, "You know, if you watch too much of that it's going to melt your brain."

Ryuko didn't flinch, "It's not melting my brain; it's  _blowing my mind_."

Satsuki let out a puff of laughter, getting on the bed and hugging Ryuko from behind, settling her between her outstretched legs, leaning back on the headboard. "What just happened?"

Ryuko leaned back into her, face turning but eyes still on the screen, "They just finished a battle." Satsuki hummed, placing kisses to Ryuko's neck. Ryuko grinned and looked at her, "I'm the clingy one?" She bit down in retaliation, hard enough to make Ryuko groan. "Okay, okay. Stop distracting me. Gotta watch."

They watched the rest of the episode in silence, and when it finished Ryuko yawned and stretched. She untangled herself from Satsuki, leaning forward to lie on her stomach. "Gimme a massage." Satsuki rolled her eyes, unseen by Ryuko. "Get your own massage."

Ryuko pouted, sitting up and turning around so she was facing Satsuki. "Please?" Satsuki's grin faltered. She always underestimated Ryuko's puppy dog eyes. Ryuko crawled over to her, pushing her so she was lying down and lied next to her, arms wrapping around her waist. "Fine. Don't give me anything," she turned her head towards the TV again, "just let me watch the next episode and cuddle you."

Satsuki grinned, "Who's clingy?"

"Shut the fuck up."

Feeling her eye lids getting heavy, Satsuki buried her face in Ryuko's neck, drifting in and out of sleep until Ryuko said, "Hey, want me to turn it off?" Satsuki grunted, yawning and turning to lie on her back.

"I'd only get a few hours in, anyway. You can keep watching, I know how you like to binge."

Met with silence, Satsuki looked at Ryuko, who looked like she wanted to say something, but was stopping herself. "What? You don't have to filter yourself around me, say what you want to say."

Ryuko sighed and met Satsuki's eyes; "I want you to tell me about your dream." Satsuki looked away immediately. "No, come on. I really think it will help! You're not sleeping over this, and that really bothers me."

In all honesty she didn't want to tell Ryuko because she thought it was a huge exaggeration on her part. She shouldn't have freaked out like that, but she couldn't help it. Ryuko didn't know Nui like she did; she didn't know what hell she could bring.

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine."

"Bullshit."

Satsuki narrowed her eyes, "You can leave, if you'd like." Ryuko sat up, Satsuki doing the same, "Listen, I'm only asking because I can see what it's doing to you. You don't sleep, you barely eat; all you do is fucking study. I know you don't need to work that hard to do well, so the only explanation left is that the nightmare you had is haunting you and you're trying to distract yourself."

Satsuki set her teeth, glaring daggers at Ryuko. "Are you really going to fight with me about this?"

Ryuko crossed her arms, "If I have to, yeah."

"Then leave."

Ryuko didn't move. Satsuki could feel her heart beating too fast, "I'm only going to tell you once more. Leave. Before I force you out."

"I'm not going anywhere."

Letting out a noise that sounded like an angry dog, Satsuki gave up. "Look. You won't understand, you'll never understand—" She felt Ryuko touch her knee, "But I can still listen. You keep it all in, it's just going to eat you up."

Satsuki felt helpless, as if she was drowning and the waves kept crashing on her with more force each time. "You can trust me." Sighing, Satsuki let the waves take her, relaying her dream in every detail.

Ryuko didn't talk for almost two minutes afterwards, the silence deafening. "No wonder you can't sleep. Your sister is fucking creepy." Satsuki looked at anything but Ryuko.

"You should tell Nonon about this."

Satsuki snapped her head to face her, "What? Why?"

"What if you have been in that room before? You felt like you had, but you don't know for sure. The only person you've known the whole time besides your family is her, maybe you've said something about it and she remembers." Satsuki stared.

"What?"

"It's a good idea, I just. I don't want to burden her. I could barely tell you." Hearing Ryuko's phone buzz on the bedside table, Satsuki felt like she could finally breathe again. Seeing Ryuko glance at the message and furrow her brow, Satsuki leaned back on the headboard, bringing her knees up and resting her chin on them.

Still looking at her phone, Ryuko moved to show Satsuki. "Is… is that you?" Looking at the photo, Satsuki stilled. It was her, but from her senior year of high school. It was with the student council on the last day of classes. She almost didn't recognize herself.

"Damn, you look like someone took a piss in your tea!" Ryuko grinned at her, and Satsuki couldn't help but grin as well. She was frowning in the picture, everyone else doing the same. "Wait. Why did Mako send me this?" Ryuko squinted her eyes at her phone, trying to see what she was supposed to be looking for.

Her eyes widened, "Holy shit! Is that Ira? You know Ira?" Satsuki hummed, "He was in the council, so yes," confused as to why her relationship with Ira Gamagori was important to Ryuko.

"That's Mako's boyfriend! Wait, so you knew him in high school? Was he such a meat head back then, too?" Satsuki chuckled, "Well, he was very serious back then. I think we all were to some extent."

"Nonon looks the fucking same," Pursing her lips like she was deciding something, Ryuko nodded to herself, "Yeah, I like you better now. Not as frowny."

Satsuki scoffed, "I still frown."

"Yeah, but not like that. That one makes it look like that's how your face is set. Not like now, you smile more." After a few moments of silence, Ryuko spoke again, "Do you feel any better?"

Thinking about it, she felt a little lighter than she did that morning, Nui's sadistic grin in the back of her mind instead of the forefront. "A bit, yes."

Ryuko smiled at her and got her to lie down again, putting her head to her chest, cuddling her. Satsuki didn't mind; she had done it to Ryuko enough times anyway. Yawning, Ryuko patted the top of Satsuki's head and said, "Okay. You wake me up if you have a bad one, alright? I'm right here."

Satsuki was too comfortable to answer, eyes slipping shut, falling asleep to the calm beating of Ryuko's heart.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drunk nights, speculation, and omg a wild Ragyo appears!
> 
> Sorry this took so damn long

Turning to look at the clock on her bedside table, Satsuki sighed. Getting out of bed, she padded silently across her apartment, hearing another knock at her door on the way. Opening the door she saw Ryuko, phone in hand, leaning her head on the doorframe mumbling incoherently, typing away.

"Ryuko?"

She got a grunt in response.

Chuckling to herself, Satsuki took Ryuko gently by the back of her neck and grabbed her free hand, leading her inside. Ryuko looked up at her with glazed eyes, words slurred together, "Hey, wha're you doin' at my place?" She closed her eyes, as if trying to remember something, "Didn' say you're comin' over… Wouldn've drank s'much…" groaning, she slumped against Satsuki.

"This is my apartment," Satsuki rubbed her thumb behind Ryuko's ear in some sort of affection, "You knocked."

Ryuko furrowed her brow and shrugged, "Eh, your place… my place… same shit." Satsuki let out a puff of laughter, "There's a twenty minute difference," setting her down on the bed, Satsuki let Ryuko shrug off her jacket, "in a different direction. I take it you went to that party?"

Ryuko groaned, taking off her shirt and attempting to take off her pants, "Yeah… was fuckin' killer. Should'a gone. They had Patron." Satsuki let her struggle with her pants for a few more moments, smiling when she gave up and flopped back on the mattress.

Sighing, Satsuki helped her out of her pants, getting grabbed in the process and being pulled up to Ryuko's face. "You smell like tequila." Ryuko grinned and brought their mouths together. Pulling away after a few moments, Satsuki mumbled against Ryuko's lips, "You taste like tequila, too."

Receiving no banter, Satsuki pulled back further, looking at Ryuko's face, making sure she was even awake. The day prior, Ryuko had talked about her week being one of the worst in a long time. There was a chance that the store might go under, and adding onto that, Ryuko had been needed nonstop at the office of her professor as they worked on the paper she would be presenting at the end of the semester.

Ryuko grunted in retaliation, pulling at her face weakly, "No… come back." Satsuki grinned and complied, pressing closer to her. Running her hands under Satsuki's sweatshirt, Ryuko rubbed her upper back, breaking the kiss to say, "Oh… you were sleepin'?"

"You don't know what time it is, do you?"

Ryuko didn't stop rubbing her back, "Nah… m'sure it's late, though."

Satsuki kissed her again, this time less forceful, "It's almost five in the morning."

Ryuko wrapped her arms around Satsuki's upper back, giving her a sorry excuse for a hug, "Oh, sorry I woke you up," she rubbed their noses together, eyes lidded, "Must've been a really good party, then."

The fact that Ryuko had thought of her apartment as her own and came there after getting piss drunk at some party made a fond smile tug at her lips. It was almost like she was Ryuko's only thought sometimes.

Ryuko moved up to rest her head on the pillows, taking her hands off Satsuki to take off her bra, sighing contently, and throwing it to the floor. She yawned, moving under the covers. Satsuki moved with her, resting her hand on Ryuko's stomach, scratching lightly.

"There were a lot of hot chicks there," Ryuko turned to face her, eyes still glazed, finding Satsuki's hand on her hip and linking their fingers.

Satsuki's stare didn't waver, "Oh?"

"Yeah," Ryuko frowned, "…kept tryin' to make out with me," she scooted closer to Satsuki, "told 'em to back the fuck up, almost hit this one chick, it was crazy."

"Such chivalry."

Ryuko had a habit of saying whatever came to her mind when she was drunk. Most of the time they came out in short unfinished thoughts, but it was easy enough to piece together what she was trying to get across.

Ryuko grinned, bumping their foreheads together, "The whole time… I was comparin' them to you… like, hotness factor… all that crap…" she mumbled between kisses, "You always won… you're so much better."

Satsuki wanted to take it with a grain of salt, but it was fruitless. Ryuko had unknowingly spoiled her, practically showering her with affection almost every day, physical and verbal.

Satsuki hummed, "That's good for me, then."

Ryuko went silent, turning to face the ceiling, now playing with Satsuki's hand with both of hers. "Startin' to think you'll always win." Satsuki swallowed roughly, staying mute.

They laid there for a while, both content with silence. Ryuko brought Satsuki's hand up to her face, biting the skin between her forefinger and thumb lightly. "What are you doing?"

Ryuko looked at her, lips moving to her palm. "Nothin'."

Satsuki rolled her eyes and moved her hand from Ryuko's mouth, "No, not nothing."

Ryuko looked at her, suddenly serious. Her eyes were scorching, almost blazing with uncontained affection. Satsuki could stare at her forever. Ryuko threaded her fingers in Satsuki's hair, pulling her closer, breaths becoming erratic.

Closing the distance between them, Satsuki cupped Ryuko's face, fingers rubbing gently behind her jaw. Slipping her tongue in Ryuko's mouth, she traced along her teeth the way she knew Ryuko liked, earning a low whine.

Pulling away, she placed small kisses along Ryuko's jawline leading up to her ear. Continuing her ministrations, she moved above Ryuko, fingers dancing on her smooth skin.

Sucking at a sensitive spot on Ryuko's neck, Satsuki waited for the inevitable groan she would receive. It was always so raw and husky, the sound going straight to her groin like a pulse.

The sound never came. Instead, Satsuki's ears were met with a loud, very unattractive snore. Looking up, she saw Ryuko asleep, one hand stretched out beside her, another still in her hair. Satsuki stared, dumbfounded. She put a hand to her face, laughing lightly at the turn of events.

Feeling exhaustion settling in her bones, her head hit the pillow next to Ryuko. She kissed her cheek and whispered goodnight in her ear, letting the fatigue take over and falling into a dreamless sleep.

.

It was always difficult to detangle from Ryuko in the mornings; she had a routine of almost crawling over Satsuki in her sleep, hugging onto her like a koala. The heat they shared wasn't a problem, it was warm and she enjoyed Ryuko's constant contact.

Nevertheless, she found it a challenge to try and get out of bed without making them both topple over to the floor. Forcing Ryuko off, Satsuki sat at the edge of the bed, wiping her hands on her thighs. She had class in almost an hour.

Sighing, she got up and busied herself with making her morning tea—some coffee for Ryuko, and getting dressed.

A while later, she walked back to the bed, letting Ryuko know where she was going and telling her to not vomit in her bed, please. Ryuko grunted and groaned like a child, pulling the covers above her head, telling her to stop screaming, god dammit.

Satsuki sighed, "Ryuko, come on."

Ryuko pulled the covers down and sat up, bringing a hand to her head, "Ugh, okay, okay," she looked around the bed, "Hey, where's that sweater you were wearing last night?"

Satsuki gave her a questioning look, but grabbed said sweater off the edge of the bed where she had left it and handed it to Ryuko. "It's fucking cold in here." The sleeves were obviously too long on her arms, covering her hands and then some. Satsuki felt a smile form.

Ryuko smacked her lips, frowning, "All I taste is tequila."

"That's what you get for drinking yourself stupid."

Ryuko glared at her, "Well, it's not my fault I wanna have fun sometimes."

Satsuki shrugged, "Whatever. I'm just glad you came here, otherwise you probably would've choked on your own vomit while sleeping at your place."

"Oh, bullshit. And that's heroine, by the way, that doesn't happen when you're drunk. You're so dramatic—" Grinning, Satsuki cut her off with a kiss, effectively silencing her.

Pulling away Satsuki rubbed their noses, "Look, I've got to go now. I'll be back in a few hours. We'll get something to eat when I return."

"You know, you should really try to talk to Nonon," Satsuki gave her a pointed look, "Yeah, yeah. I know, but I mean. It wouldn't hurt to try. She only wants to help you; you wouldn't be burdening her with your problems… The way I see it, she's more worried that you're not telling her anything."

Satsuki sighed, "I'll think about it."

Kissing her once more, Satsuki stood up to her full height and left, locking the door on the way out.

* * *

 

"Hello?"

Walking between classes, Satsuki had been surprised to receive a call from her mother of all people.

" _Satsuki, darling, I've been hearing a lot of things about you lately."_

Gripping the phone, Satsuki frowned, "I'm not sure what you mean, Mother."

" _Oh, come now, Satsuki,"_  her mother paused, apparently waiting for an answer. Satsuki stayed silent, her mother sighing on the other line,  _"I heard you have a significant other of sorts. This is exciting news, especially since you've ignored all of those emails I sent about nice young men from my offices."_

Satsuki rolled her eyes so hard she could practically see the back of her eye sockets, "Mother, is this all you called for?" Her mother gasped,  _"Now, who taught you that disrespecting tone? Your little friend—?"_  Satsuki stopped listening, making a disgruntled noise and standing outside of her next class. She supposed Ryuko had rubbed off on her more than she thought.

"— _Anyway, I called to tell you that I've had second thoughts about our original agreement."_  Satsuki's ear twitched at that,  _"Nui says you've gotten more and more distracted with your friend or whatever you'd like to call her. She also says that you're thinking about continuing your higher education, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it's just I don't have time to wait for you to finish. Do you see where this is going, dear?"_

Gritting her teeth, Satsuki tried to contain herself. This was exactly what she was afraid would happen.  _To hell with this,_ she thought.

"I understand, Mother. I'm sure Nui will make a great addition to the company," Before her mother could cut her off, she continued, "Furthermore, I think I will continue my higher education, so you don't need to worry about waiting for me anymore. I'll stay out of your hair. I'll see you on holiday. Goodbye."

Waiting for her reply, Satsuki gripped the strap of her bag, a scowl on her face.

" _Yes, yes. Well, I suppose you're free to do what you please. Don't get too distracted, dear. Love can be dangerous once you've been blinded by it."_

Sighing, Satsuki hung up. Collecting her thoughts, she put her phone in her pocket and entered her class. Seeing her professor write out a quiz on the board, she mused that she'd rather be blind than stupid.

Almost half way through the class, she got a text from Nonon:  _Hey, we haven't talked in a while. What are you doing for lunch?_  Narrowing her eyes, Satsuki typed back,  _I apologize. I've been very busy lately. Lunch? I promised Ryuko I would get something with her after class. You're welcome to come along._

After receiving conformation from Nonon, Satsuki sent Ryuko a text,  _Hey wake up. We're eating lunch with Nonon when I get back. Take a shower, please._

Now officially not paying attention, Satsuki mulled over how she was going to bring up her dreams to Nonon. Ryuko was probably right, a new pair of eyes to the situation couldn't hurt, but she was still apprehensive. Burdening her oldest friend with her strange problems would just make her worry more.

Sighing, Satsuki checked her phone. Ryuko had messaged her back,  _Oi I already did for ur information ms I wear pantsuits to class~ Good I'm in the mood for a burger._

With a small smile, Satsuki typed back,  _Pantsuits are professional, but what would you know about that Ms. 'I-wear-the-same-outfit-three-times-a-week'? Just be ready when I get there._

The rest of the lecture went on without a hitch, Ryuko sending her stupid pictures from the Internet periodically, most of which weren't as funny as Ryuko probably thought. After adding some new assignments to her calendar as the class ended, Satsuki made her way back to her apartment.

* * *

 

Walking into the diner with Ryuko, Satsuki scanned around the small establishment for Nonon. Finding her in the back corner, Satsuki grabbed Ryuko by the bottom of her jacket and walked them over to the booth.

Once situated, Satsuki leaned back in her seat, arms and legs crossed comfortably.

Nonon yawned from across the table, "Ugh, how often do you guys come to this shithole?"

"Um. Not a shithole," Ryuko leaned forward, lifting her hand and pointing at Nonon, "You just don't know good food."

Nonon shot a deadpan look at Satsuki, "This place sucks, why do you come here?"

Satsuki thought about it, "Probably because Ryuko likes it so much," she ignored the incredulous gasp beside her, "It's close to my apartment, too."

"What the hell! I thought you liked this place! That's why I suggest it all the time!"

Satsuki leaned away from Ryuko, bubble invaded by the intensity of her screaming, "Well, it's not terrible, but it could stand to be better." Sighing, she patted Ryuko's head to reassure her it wasn't all in vain.

"Just a get a burger, it's the only thing that's good for the price." Satsuki smiled when she heard Ryuko grumble something about being lead on and the word bullshit repeatedly.

After receiving their food and making idle small talk, Satsuki decided it was time. Ryuko apparently thought the same thing, her hand resting on Satsuki's knee in silent support when she was done with her burger and fries.

Satsuki could see Nonon physically stop herself from asking the entire time they were eating, making her that much more hesitant to bring it up.

"So, I have dreams about Nui murdering Ryuko." Nonon's eyebrows shot up to her hairline, "Damn, okay, let's just get to it, then." Satsuki shrugged, being nonchalant was easier than showing her apprehension.

"They're becoming a nuisance," Cutting off and looking up in thought, Satsuki sighed, "I did not think that sentence through."

She looked back at Nonon, continuing, "Ryuko believes it would be a good idea if I talked to you about them. More specifically, if you remember anything from when we were kids that would help me understand them."

Nonon pursed her lips, "Well, I'd been thinking about it since the last time we were here," she looked sheepish, "I put two and two together. Ryuko mentioned a white room," she cut off at Satsuki's glare at Ryuko. "What the hell! You told her anyway?"

Ryuko put her hands up in defense, "No! Just about the room! That's it! I thought she would know something right off the bat, but she didn't. I'm sorry."

Rubbing her temple, Satsuki breathed through her nose, all of her concentration on stopping herself from punching Ryuko in the face. She knew she meant well, but she could've asked first!

"Anyway, I thought about it the last few weeks and the only thing I remember you saying about a white room was when you would take your medicine at night. Your description back then was the same as what Ryuko told me. Really bright, white, no other doors or windows."

Medicine? Satsuki sat back, trying to remember, "What kind of medicine? The kind I take now?"

Nonon shook her head, "No, I think it was a shot or something. Like some steroid shit, you were really bad for a while back then. You were all smiles when I first met you, and one day, boom, your eyes looked like you had lived a hundred years."

Ryuko gasped, "She does get that look sometimes when we're messing around!"

Satsuki smacked Ryuko's shoulder, hard, "Don't go saying that to people!"

"What! She's your friend, and we're trying to help you! Every detail counts!"

Rolling her eyes, Satsuki said, "You're not a doctor."

"Neither are you."

The two glared at each other until Nonon awkwardly cleared her throat. Satsuki growled and crossed her arms again, "Well, whatever. I don't really remember getting shots when I was little, so we'll have to come back to that."

Nonon looked crestfallen, "Is there anything else? I'm sure if we sat here a while it would come back to you. You can't just give up."

"I'm not giving up, I just have to put it on the backburner for a while, so to speak." She looked at Ryuko, "Any ideas?"

Ryuko crossed her arms, humming, "I've got some theories but they might take a while." Satsuki nodded, "We've got time."

After almost an hour and a half of theory and speculation, they all decided that the best and most plausible concept was Nonon's: The shots were either a hallucinogen or sedative, depending on which, the situation was still awful, and the long term effects of them were starting to effect Satsuki.

"You need to go back to the doctor and ask about this stuff, okay?"

Satsuki nodded, mostly silent during their debate. She had known Nonon to be insightful and logical in many different situations, so her idea couldn't be too far off from the truth. Still, the idea that such a thing was occurring was still disturbing.

After paying and leaving a generous tip for the waitress (for putting up with them for so long) Nonon left them to their own devices, saying she had a private lesson to attend.

"Those fucking brats better've practiced their shit cause I am in no mood to hear their excuses today!"

Walking towards the street to Satsuki's apartment, Ryuko grabbed her hand, tangling their fingers, "I want you to know I am sorry for telling her without your permission," she sighed, frustrated, "I just. I was so desperate to try to help you. I thought. Agh, never mind."

Satsuki looked over to see Ryuko's eyes downcast. Bumping her shoulder with her own, Satsuki got her attention, "Hey. It's fine. I'm not angry anymore. I know you meant well."

Pursing her lips, she debated on whether or not to ask. After a few more blocks of silence, she decided that Ryuko wouldn't care either way.

"Hey, would you mind staying over? I want to take a quick nap before I start my paper." Ryuko nodded, understanding fully, "Yeah, sure. I'm probably gonna work on my own paper while you sleep, though," She looked up in thought, humming, "Maybe not, I kinda type loud."

Satsuki made a face, but didn't say anything else. She was glad that Ryuko had caught on to her pattern. As long as someone else was in the bed with her, Satsuki's nightmares were basically dormant.

Even so, when she was alone she still had them periodically. They were getting more and more grotesque, Ryuko dying slower and in more pain each time. She had almost become used to them, in a way. Waking up in a cold sweat every night was getting old.

Entering her apartment, Satsuki got in bed, not even bothering to change clothes. She had barely got any sleep the last week; her professors were practically doubling her course load with extra assignments and papers.

Ryuko got in bed next to her, booting up her laptop and plugging in the thumb drive on her key ring. Eyes closed, Satsuki suddenly understood what Ryuko meant by typing loud. It was almost as if she had been personally victimized by the creator of keyboards she was jamming the keys so hard.

Trying to relax, Satsuki turned on her side, away from Ryuko's button smashing. After a few minutes the noise stopped and she heard Ryuko close her laptop. Turning her head, Satsuki looked at Ryuko, "You're done already?"

Ryuko placed her laptop on the bedside table and took off her shoes, silent. She then turned and hugged Satsuki from behind, effectively spooning her. "Nah, I'm too loud. Plus I gonna organized my thoughts anyway. I'll wait until you're actually asleep."

Satsuki didn't say anything, used to Ryuko's odd habits. Sleep overtook her in a matter of minutes.

.

Waking up to unintelligible screaming, Satsuki groaned, she had rolled onto her stomach in her sleep. Taking a deep breath through her nose, Satsuki turned and sat up, looking for Ryuko.

"Hey Sissy!"

Looking at Nui with a blank face, Satsuki said nothing, shocked to see her.

Nui cocked her head, sweet grin turning into malice. "No need to be rude."

"What are you doing here?" Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ryuko standing almost in between her and her sister.

Nui giggled and looked around the room, "Well, I  _was_  going to discipline you for being so rude to Mother on the phone, but seeing that you're still not over some of the old issues, I guess I'll leave."

Satsuki got up and crossed the room so fast even Nui's grin faltered. Grabbing her sister by the cloth of her shirt, Satsuki looked down at her, eyes cold, "What did you say?"

Seeing Nui realize that she had said too much made Satsuki tighten her grip, teeth grinding together. "Answer. Now."

Nui swallowed harshly, "Your problem with—"

Satsuki cut her off, "Why do you know about it."

"I was listening to you in the diner. You should really be careful about where you talk about things like that, Sissy."

Narrowing her eyes, Satsuki shoved Nui towards the door.

"Out."

Nui turned to leave and spoke without facing them, "It's interesting that you haven't connected the two, yet," she turned, giving them a sickly sweet smile, "I'll give you a hint. It has to do with endorphins."

Satsuki's eyes widened, "I said, leave. Now."

Without another word she turned and walked out the door, footsteps light.

Ryuko stared, "Satsuki—"

She had never been so violated, so angry in her life. Without taking a step, Satsuki lifted her arm and punched the wall next to her out of sheer frustration. She felt the skin on her knuckles split and start to bleed, mixing with the drywall.

She hadn't realized that her ears were ringing until she tried to hear what Ryuko was saying to her. She felt arms circle her waist, and Ryuko press against her back. Satsuki moved to grab the arms on her stomach, only to find her hand was stuck inside the wall.

Using probably more force than necessary, Satsuki ripped her fist from the wall, loose pieces falling to the floor.

"Let me see."

Turning around to face Ryuko, Satsuki showed her hand. It was shaking, mostly from adrenaline, and upon further inspection, was swelling and had spilt knuckles. Still angry, Satsuki opted to stay silent, a brooding scowl on her face.

Ryuko sighed, "We're gonna have to wash this." Gently taking Satsuki's messed up hand, she led her to the kitchen sink, turning on the tap. "It's gonna sting."

Leading Satsuki's hand under the faucet, Ryuko began to clean, rubbing gentle circles around open skin and pressing harder at the drywall remains. Satsuki didn't feel a thing. Until Ryuko went and got the rubbing alcohol, that is.

"Okay, this is gonna sting for sure."

Satsuki hissed at the contact, the wet cotton burning her wounds. Once Ryuko was done she grabbed some medical tape from Satsuki's bathroom and wrapped her hand, kissing her fingers when she was done.

"She just fucking walked in. It was so weird. She tried to, like, seduce me or something? I dunno, but I told her to get out, and she just stood there, staring like a freak. I ended up getting pissed off that she was ignoring me, so I just started to scream at her."

Ryuko sighed, "This is crazy. I didn't think she knew where you lived."

Satsuki looked up, "Are you afraid?"

Ryuko laughed, "Of that pint-sized bitch? Hell, no! It just means I'm staying over here more than I have been. I don't like the idea of you being alone and her just walking in like she pays rent, you know?"

In retrospect Satsuki mused that she should've seen this coming, Ryuko becoming super protective of her now that Nui had shown up at her apartment. It warmed her heart, but at the same time now Ryuko was in just as much danger. She couldn't have that.

"I can protect myself—"

"I know that! I'm just saying, we've got a better chance at taking her out with two people instead of one!"

Satsuki huffed, yielding, "Fine, fine. Do as you please."

"I do that anyway."

Standing in silence, Satsuki saw Ryuko look at the new hole in the wall and grin, "I hope you never get that mad at me! You'd shatter my skull!"

Satsuki didn't make a sound, still angry with Nui. A part of her just wanted to get out and go somewhere, to distract herself for the time being. Ryuko kissed her, getting her attention, "Hey, let's go to the park or something. Get your mind off this for a while."

She couldn't have said it better herself. They called Nonon at Ryuko's request, and she met them at the park a few hours later. It wasn't a solution, but it was a start.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homecoming. 
> 
> I apologize for the shortness.
> 
> The ending bit is merely a stylistic choice.

"Why did you drag me up here again?"

Ryuko grinned, leading her to the middle of the roof, "To celebrate!" Feeling a breeze, Satsuki looked away, scanning the other rooftops in the area. Graduation had come and gone, and Ryuko would be starting her last semester in a few weeks.

Hearing a noise and feeling the absence of Ryuko's hand, she turned back to see Ryuko dragging a mattress through the stair entrance. Incredulous, Satsuki just stared.

Catching her eye, Ryuko laughed, "We're not gonna fuck on it or anything!" she paused, reconsidering, wagging her eyebrows, "Unless you want to!"

Satsuki shook her head and said, "You really are an idiot, sometimes."

Ryuko shrugged, setting the mattress down and laying on it, signaling Satsuki to do the same. "Just wait, this is gonna be awesome!" Satsuki sat down next to her, giving in to Ryuko's ridiculous antics.

She felt a warm hand go up under her shirt, lingering on her lower back. Absently leaning into it, Satsuki placed her hands behind her, putting her weight on them. Ryuko's hand wandered, slow and languid.

"What am I looking for again?"

Ryuko sighed and sat up, getting behind Satsuki and putting both hands under her shirt, "You'll fucking see in a minute, shit!" Ryuko rubbed her thumbs in gentle circles on the base of Satsuki's spine, slowly moving up and passing her ribs.

Satsuki felt heat bloom under her skin, the tights knots in her muscles melting away. Ryuko continued, fingers moving to her sides, pressing and kneading. By this time, she was fully pressed to Satsuki's back. They stayed silent, Ryuko resting her chin on Satsuki's shoulder, randomly kissing her neck from time to time.

A few more minutes passed, and Satsuki felt like she was about to fall asleep she was so comfortable. Suddenly, a shot went up on the horizon and exploded.  _Fireworks? In this area?_  Ryuko must've felt her stiffen, "Don't worry, they do it every weekend. Dunno why they don't get caught, but it's pretty cool."

They watched the entire show in silence, Ryuko continuing her massage. Satsuki let her mind blank, watching the sky and feeling Ryuko's hands rub away her stress.

"How are you so good at this?"

She felt Ryuko shrug, "I dunno. Mako taught me most of this stuff. Her dad is a doctor… he mostly does house calls, though," her hands moved to Satsuki's stomach, fingers tracing her abs lightly, "I'm not really doing anything specific, I just like touching you, honestly."

Satsuki turned to see Ryuko's face on her shoulder, looking to the horizon, "Most of the time you get real fidgety, though, so I can't do it for long."

Satsuki hummed and leaned into her, "It gets uncomfortable after a while."

After a few minutes, she felt the air around them shift, suddenly serious. Ryuko spoke; her voice soft, "You leave tomorrow, right?"

"Yes," Satsuki felt Ryuko's work start to reverse itself.

"I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I see her."

Ryuko tightened her grip, eyes glinting the way they did when Satsuki told her about her first nightmare all those months ago, "I saw Nonon yesterday. We talked about you."

"And?"

Ryuko's hands stilled, "We came up with something."

Satsuki frowned.

"We think that, maybe, it was your Mom that was the one—" Satsuki didn't let her finish, turning to look her in the eye, suddenly annoyed, she said, "You think that wasn't my first thought?"

She could suddenly hear blood roaring through her ears, "She's very vindictive, you know. This twisted shit is right up her alley," Ryuko stayed silent, head slightly bowed; it made Satsuki angry.

She grabbed Ryuko's jaw, lifting her head and staring straight through her, "Do I look like a fool?" In hindsight, it was the absolute wrong way to go about things, but it was all she knew, her older personality back from the dead. Looking down on people was what she did best, according to the ghosts of her past.

Ryuko just stared back, unaffected by her sudden shift in behavior. Her eyes seemed sad and knowing, Satsuki tightened her grip.

"I can handle you telling her about the room behind my back, that's fine. It's not explicit," she moved away from Ryuko, releasing her face, "But you two theorizing about what you think has happened to me like it's some kind of game is just—" She set her jaw. She needed to stop.

Ryuko got in her face, "It's just what?" she grabbed Satsuki's shoulder, leaning forward, "Okay, so we threw some ideas around, so what? We did it because we actually fucking care about you," her grip tightened, "It was our first thought, too, you know, but ignoring it and just living like it never happened—"

Satsuki shoved her off, standing, "Wouldn't you do the same? You can't blame me for wanting to act like it didn't happen!" she put her hands to her head, world suddenly spinning, "I don't even remember it happening! That's the worst part; living in a constant state of déjà vu!"

Ryuko stood up, keeping her distance, visibly fuming.

Satsuki couldn't keep it in anymore, "These headaches are getting old. These nightmares are getting old. This whole situation is  _fucking old!"_  She turned away, eyes constantly moving, as if the answer was physically in front of her. How was she supposed to act? What was she supposed to say? She suddenly understood why people leapt off of buildings. This was too much.

Sitting down, she put her hands in her hair, rubbing her throbbing head. She had to think of a plan. Running away was not an option; running was weak.

Ryuko stayed silent behind her. Breathing deeply, Satsuki tried to calm down. It had been a long time since she'd had an outburst like this. "I'm just frustrated." Ryuko sat next to her, hand on her shoulder, nuzzling the side of her face.

Satsuki locked eyes with her, turning her head. Ryuko said nothing, eyes speaking for her. She was angry, and rightfully so. Satsuki didn't look away, "I yelled at you."

Ryuko didn't speak.

Satsuki stared, her proximity was calm and reassuring, but her eyes had turned dark and seething. "You're still angry."

Ryuko looked away, "Not at you."

_Oh._

After a few minutes, Satsuki sighed, "I just want some kind of normality—"

Ryuko shoved her, lightly, "Come on, you're normal. You're better than normal, actually."

Satsuki gave a noncommittal shrug.

Ryuko put her arms on either side of Satsuki's waist, bumping noses with her gently, "You are," she punctuated her claim with a kiss, not waiting for Satsuki to reciprocate, "Do you want to talk about something else?"

Satsuki bumped their foreheads, "Like what?"

Ryuko kissed her again, lingering, "I dunno. My lease is up in a few months."

After a few moments, Satsuki blinked, "You want to move in together?"

Ryuko flushed to the tips of her ears, "I mean. I'm always over there anyway. And like, we can split the cost of rent and everything. I have a really good toaster—"

Satsuki laughed, thoroughly entertained, "I was actually thinking of moving out when my lease was up, too. Maybe we can find a two-bedroom somewhere between—" She cut off at the sight of Ryuko shaking her head, "What?"

Ryuko wouldn't meet her eyes, "I want a one-bedroom."

Satsuki scoffed, "Put together, we have too many things. A one-bedroom would be too cramped."

Ryuko put her face in Satsuki's neck, ears still red, "I want to share a room with you."

"You would share a room with me, just all of our extra things would be in the other room."

"That costs more money! I'll get rid of stuff!"

Satsuki sighed, "Okay. When is your least actually up? Mine is in almost four months. That gives us a bit of time to decide on everything, right?"

Ryuko brought her head up, "Maybe we're going too fast. When do people usually move in together?"

Satsuki pursed her lips. Perhaps they were moving too fast. Shaking her head, she said, "I think we're fine, like you said, you're basically at my apartment more than half the time, anyway."

Ryuko hummed and leaned back, pulling her knees to her chest, facing the edge of the roof, "I haven't had a roommate since Mako back in high school."

Satsuki stood, stretching, "You must miss her, since you spend almost all of your time with me nowadays."

Ryuko did the same, walking to the stairway entrance, "Yeah, I do. She dropped by the other day, though! We just talked the whole time, nothing fancy. Ira's doing well, he actually  _requested_  that you two have dinner sometime, to catch up."

Satsuki hummed, "That sounds nice, maybe I can get Nonon to contact Inumuta and we can all go out." Ryuko grinned, opening the door.

Satsuki stopped, "What about the mattress?"

"Oh," Ryuko eyed it warily, "Well, I guess we can just leave it up here."

"What if it rains?"

"Eh, doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure it's got bedbugs anyway."

Satsuki's eyes widened considerably, "You can't be serious."

Ryuko shifted her eyes from the mattress to Satsuki, face contorting. After a beat of staring, Ryuko snorted, doubling over and grabbing her stomach, "Oh, man! You should've seen your fucking—" looking up at Satsuki she cracked up again, "Your fucking face! Oh my God!"

Satsuki shoved her against the door, trying not to grin, "That wasn't funny!"

Ryuko just laughed harder, following her down the stairs, "Come on! Yes, it was!" Satsuki turned to glare at her, but was instead met with Ryuko's mouth on her own, firm and pressing. She had never been on the lower angle of a kiss; Ryuko's hands moved to cup her face; it was different, good.

After they both had their fill, Satsuki broke away and grabbed Ryuko's hand, threading their fingers on the way down the stairs.

"Is that your version of an apology?"

She didn't see Ryuko's dazed look behind her, "Yeah, I guess. Mako told me to do it when you were miffed at me. Whatever the hell that means."

Satsuki mused that Mako was sneakier than she her gave credit for. "Okay, but seriously, what are we doing about the mattress." She turned back to look at Ryuko as they stepped into the top floor of the bookstore, "Are you really going to leave it up there?"

"Huh? Yeah, why not?"

Satsuki narrowed her eyes, "Whose mattress is it? Do you hate them or something?"

Ryuko shrugged, "I dunno, found it up the street the other day."

"Ryuko."

"What! Who leaves out a perfectly good mattress?"

Satsuki crossed her arms, doubtful.

"I put the stained side down when we sat on it! We're good!"

She shoved her again, harder this time, "Ryuko! Seriously?"

Ryuko started laughing again, "Okay, okay. I'm kidding. It's dad's old one, he told me to trash it. We bought a new one last week. We can leave it up there, it's fine."

Satsuki sighed, "Why do I even deal with you?"

"Shut up, you know it was fucking funny!"

Satsuki slanted her eyes at Ryuko, "Really?"

Ryuko stuck her tongue out while dodging another shove. Suddenly, Satsuki supposed that normality wasn't entirely out of reach.

* * *

 

"You seem really anxious."

Satsuki put the last of her things into her suitcase on the bed, looking up at Ryuko, who was biting her nails again. Ryuko didn't look back, moving her pointer finger out from between her teeth, "I'm just worried about you, that's all."

"I'll be fine. It's only two weeks," Satsuki zipped up the suitcase and brought it to the floor, "Which is shorter than usual. I think she's angry with me for going to grad school."

Ryuko spat out the nail she had just bitten off, "Well, just be extra cautious, okay?"

Satsuki rolled her eyes, "I think I know how to handle my own mother, Ryuko."

Ryuko grunted, teeth moving to the next finger out of habit. Satsuki sat down next to her on the bed, grabbing the hand that was currently being chewed to bits and putting it in her lap, tracing patterns on her palm to try and calm her down.

Ryuko looked at her, then. Satsuki wasn't sure how long they sat there and stared at each other, but after a while she said, "I have to get going. The car will be here any minute."

Ryuko stayed silent, leaning in and bumping their foreheads together. Her eyes were scorching again, affection barely contained. Bringing their mouths together, Satsuki felt their fingers link on her lap. Ryuko's other hand came up to gently tuck some hair behind her ear, reminding her of the night she had her first nightmare.

After a few quiet moments, Ryuko pulled away slightly, face flushed. "S-Sorry."

Satsuki lingered, bumping their noses, voice barely above a whisper, "It's fine. I like it."

Hearing her phone vibrate, Satsuki said, "That would be the car."

Ryuko kissed her again, "Try to have a good time, Nonon lives close to you right?"

Satsuki stood up, "Oh, yes, she does. I expect to have dinner with her and her parents one of these nights. I'll call you if something changes."

"Okay."

Walking to the door with her suitcase, Satsuki checked her phone, reading the message that confirmed that the car that would take her home was indeed outside.

"You'll watch over the place while I'm gone, right?"

Ryuko leaned on the doorframe grinning as Satsuki stepped into the hall, "Yeah, I already set your DVR to record that marathon of Hell's Kitchen next week."

Satsuki smiled, "Good. Don't watch it without me."

"I won't."

Leaning in one last time, Satsuki decided to show a little more affection than usual, using her free hand to cup Ryuko's face gently. It seemed to have come across well enough, Ryuko practically panting into her mouth after a few kisses.

Breaking away, Satsuki took her hand off Ryuko's dazed face with a smile. "Okay. I'm off."

* * *

 

Setting her bag on her old bed, Satsuki looked around her room. It was about the size of the apartment she lived in now, give or take a few feet. Sighing, she went through her things, grabbing her phone, and walked to the kitchen down the stairs and across the hall.

"Good Afternoon, Lady Satsuki."

Her frown deepened, "Soroi, if I may, could you please refrain from call me that during my visit?"

Soroi bowed, tired eyes glinting with something Satsuki couldn't place, "I apologize, but it has been requested by the Lady of the house that you be addressed that way, Lady Satsuki."

Sighing, Satsuki sat at the dining table, the time for dinner had passed almost an hour ago. She had made sure to get there late enough to just say hello to her Mother, but not have an entire evening with her.

Smelling a familiar brew, Satsuki opened her eyes, finding a cup of her favorite tea sitting in front of her, almost welcoming her home. "Thank you, Soroi."

The butler bowed, making his leave out of the kitchen, probably off to bed. Taking a sip, Satsuki steeled herself. Feeling the warm liquid in her throat gave her the confidence she had when she was a Student Council President back in high school. Nothing could break her.

Hearing the heavy front door open, Satsuki took a few more sips, trying to get in as much as she could before the taste was soured by her mother's presence.

"Satsuki,  _darling,_  I do apologize I couldn't make it to the graduation ceremony the other week. You know how things are, though. Duty calls, as they say."

Stepping into the kitchen with Nui at her side, Ragyo Kiryuin greeted Satsuki with a brilliant smile. Nui was grinning, too.  _Disgusting_ , Satsuki thought darkly,  _hopefully these two weeks go by fast._

"Nui, if you could?" That was about the only thing Satsuki was grateful for, whenever Ragyo wanted to talk to her about anything she would shoo Nui out of the room, leaving them alone.

Once Nui was out of the kitchen, Ragyo sat across from Satsuki, folding her hands on top of the glass table, "So, what have I missed? Anything new?"

Satsuki made sure to keep a blank face, "Nothing since our conversation on the phone."

Ragyo's eyes glinted with mirth, "Ah, yes. Your new relationship that has you speaking to me in rude tones." She got up, taking her blazer off and placing it on the back of her chair, "I'm not sure what to think about it, just yet."

Satsuki remained stoic, "I apologize if I came off as rude, Mother. I was about to be late for a class—" Ragyo quickly sat down next to her, cutting her off, "Satsuki, now, what have I told you about things like that? I'm sure your professor will understand that you're speaking only about business with me. I am an ally to that university, if I'm not mistaken."

Swallowing, Satsuki kept quiet. Silence was a better option at the moment than voicing an opinion that was different than her mother's.

"You've become quite taken with this girl, from what Nui has told me," she put a hand to her chin in thought, though, from the way her lips turned up into a cruel smile, it was obviously for show, "I'm not sure what to think about her, yet."

Ragyo moved in front of her face, eyes gaining an animalistic quality, "You've been very disobedient, lately."

Eyes widening, Satsuki opened her mouth to say something, anything that would steer the conversation to a better path, but suddenly, she was put in a chokehold from behind, cutting off her air supply.

Ragyo grinned, "Nui, so soon?"

Satsuki's airway was suddenly open again.  _What the hell?_  Looking behind her, she saw Nui trying to suppress a smile.

Her mother looked back at her expectantly, "Come, come. We have more to discuss."

* * *

 

Walking between Ragyo and Nui, Satsuki's mind was racing to its limits. Setting her mouth in a thin line, she made her decision. Being passive wasn't an option anymore.

Going through a few metal doors to the basement floor, Satsuki was in a part of the Manor that was sending chills up her spine. Ragyo stopped in front of a door to their left, opening it with an antique-looking key.

Satsuki's mind blanked.

This was the room; the room that had plagued her thoughts and dreams for the last half-year. Turning, she was met with a hand grabbing her by the jaw and forcing her inside.

Trying to get a hold of her surroundings, Satsuki didn't even see the fist to her face coming, knocking her out cold.

* * *

 

Panic.

_Was this how it always was?_

Pain.

_How long had she been here?_

Terror.

_This wasn't a dream. Not this time._

Despair.

_Why was this so calculated?_

Misery.

_How was she to get out? How was she to survive?_

Madness.

_No more. No more. No more._

Demise.

" _This will end. Now."_


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 2 begins

Stuffing her hands in her pockets, Ryuko sucked in a breath, cold air frosting her teeth.

What time was it?

Fishing her phone out of her pocket, she checked her home screen. 12:05.

 _Just one of those days, I guess,_ she thought, scrolling through her messages. It had been a few weeks since Satsuki had gone to see her mother, a visit that had been extended almost every time she was due to leave.

Seeing no new messages, Ryuko sighed and put her phone back in her pocket. Taking in her surroundings, she numbingly realized that she ended up wondering in front of Satsuki's apartment building.

Winter had come in quite violently that year; the trees' leaves all gone, buried under crisp snow. Streets layered with ice, decorated with holiday, clear of anyone at this time of night.

Adjusting the strap to her bag, Ryuko began her trek to Satsuki's apartment door, across the street and up the stairs.

It had been a little lonely since Satsuki's departure. Ryuko hadn't realized how much time they actually spent together until recently, finding herself disappointed at the sight of Satsuki's empty apartment too many times.

Once inside, Ryuko dropped her bag on the floor next to the bed, letting out a mumbled, "I'm home."

Turning and going into the bathroom, she caught a glimpse of her reflection.

Now at full attention, Ryuko speculated her face in the mirror. Dark circles were under her tired eyes; her hair didn't have its usual bounce and flare, even her red bang looked gloomy.

Heaving a sigh, Ryuko slapped both cheeks, making the blood flow to her face, "Well, Satsuki. Looks like I miss you more than I thought."

Looking back, Ryuko knew she would miss her dearly, but to the point of not taking care of herself? When was the last time she went to the gym? All she had been doing lately was going to school, working at the bookstore, and moping around.

Still staring at herself, she scratched at her scalp. "Can't believe I'm this attached."

Her face broke out into a grin. It's not as if she cared at this point, she knew her feelings for Satsuki were more than she'd felt for anyone before. The few lovers she had in the past felt like child's play compared to her and Satsuki's relationship.

Ryuko washed her face, keeping an ear open over the rushing water incase Satsuki were to call. She hadn't so far. Ryuko tried not to think too hard on it. She was sure Satsuki was on lockdown, so to speak, considering Nui's behavior and the current speculation surrounding Satsuki's mother.

Sometimes, Ryuko would get the urge to just hop on her motorbike and rush to Satsuki, save her from her Mother and Nui, come back home and cuddle her all night, tell her she was safe.

Sometimes those urges tugged at the base of her skull and raced down her spine, practically breaking her from reality and throwing her into her own selfishness.

Sometimes the tugging would last days.

Ryuko had convinced herself that Satsuki was fine. The text messages they shared proved that much. Although, Ryuko thought it was strange that Satsuki would text her almost all day, some days, but never call. Not once.

Sighing, Ryuko stretched and got into bed. Breathing in the scent of the pillows, Ryuko relaxed a bit.

They still smelled like her.

* * *

 

Walking down the street from the bookstore a few days later, Ryuko felt a warm hand take her own. Turning rapidly, ready to strike the stranger, Ryuko was face to face with piercing blue eyes.

"Satsuki!"

She was grinning, actually grinning with teeth showing and everything. It was truly a sight to be seen. Ryuko couldn't help it, feeling her cheeks heat up she gently tugged Satsuki's face to hers, finally kissing her after what felt like forever.

Pulling away after a few moments, Ryuko asked, "Why didn't you tell me you were back already? I would've picked you up if you wanted me to…"

Satsuki kissed her again, "I wanted to surprise you. Judging by your face, I'd say the operation was successful," she moved to grab Ryuko's cheeks in a death pinch, pulling her closer to playfully scrutinize her face, "although the patient seems to have a low tolerance for the longevity of separation from a certain devastatingly attractive organism…"

Lightly slapping her hands away, Ryuko said, grinning, "Shut the fuck up."

It was almost as if her thoughts were scrambled before hearing Satsuki's soothing voice. Satsuki chuckled, "I missed you."

Ryuko let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, "I missed you, too. A lot."

"Were you going back to my place?"

Ryuko grinned sheepishly, "Yeah."

Satsuki laced their fingers, "Alright, let's go, then."

.

The walk home was short, Ryuko trying to not smother Satsuki with her usual affections until they got into her apartment.

Once inside, Satsuki uncharacteristically flopped onto the bed, making grabby hands at Ryuko. Never one to pass up cuddles with Satsuki, Ryuko practically jumped on her, enveloping her in some type of bear hug.

Brushing noses, Satsuki took the initiative, "So, what did you do while I was gone?"

"Eh, a bunch of bullshit. Work. Class," Ryuko let her fingers twine in Satsuki's hair, rubbing at her scalp, "Nothing too exciting."

Satsuki hummed, pressing her mouth to Ryuko's, mumbling in-between kisses,  **"** I hope you didn't get too lonely… Mother kept setting up luncheons and dinner parties and just—"

Ryuko shushed her, pulling away slightly, "It wasn't that bad," she rubbed above Satsuki's eyebrow, barely putting any pressure on the skin, "Promise."

After a few moments of hesitation, Ryuko asked, "So, I take it your mom was cool? No weird stuff?"

Satsuki stiffened slightly, looking away, "It was fine, I suppose. I don't really like being at home anyway, though."

She wouldn't meet Ryuko's eyes. Ryuko sighed, "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked." Running her hand through Satsuki's bangs, pushing them back, Ryuko kissed her forehead, not moving any time soon.

She loved how accepting Satsuki was of her affection. She loved being close to her again, breathing in the scent of her hair. She loved everything about her.

Part of it was the exhaustion, a huge part was probably the fact that Satsuki was slightly under her, and looking at her with uncontained fondness and a smile that made Ryuko's bones weak.

All of it was the truth, though.

"I love you."

Before Satsuki could even respond, something began hammering on the front door.

Slightly flustered, while looking at the door, Ryuko felt a sudden lightness that made her want to vomit.

_No._

Turning back, ignoring the sound, Ryuko froze, bile rising.

There was no one near her.

She was alone, like always.

* * *

 

"Ryuko! Open the fucking door right now!"

Eyes snapping open, Ryuko gasped for air.  _What the fuck?_ The banging didn't stop.

"Ryuko! Goddammit!"

 _That voice…_ Trying to get a grip on reality Ryuko got out of bed and sluggishly approached the door. Wrenching it open, she was met with pink hair.

"Fucking hell! I've been calling you for hours! Your coconut friend is crying her eyes out at her job because she doesn't know where you've been the last twenty-four hours! What the fuck is wrong with you!"

Seeing Nonon push past her and step into the kitchen, Ryuko's reactions were lethargic — _was it really a dream?_

"Oi. Dunce. I'm talking to you."

Snapping out her seemingly frozen state of mind, Ryuko turned to Nonon.

"What?"

Finally getting a good look at her, Ryuko noticed her hair was tousled, clothes dirty, shoes muddy, eyes puffy and red. Was it raining outside?

"Are you okay?"

Nonon grit her teeth, Ryuko didn't see the slap coming.

Nonon was seething, "Are you insane? Have you listened to any of the messages we've all left you? Where the flying fuck have you been?!"

Ryuko's cheek stung. Messages?

Rolling her eyes Nonon pushed past Ryuko, "Save it. I'll just fill you in. You might want to sit down."

Ryuko's stomach tightened. She remained standing.

Nonon let out a shaky breath and wiped her hands on her thighs, "Satsuki's been hospitalized."

Sudden panic seized her, dropping down in front of Nonon, grabbing her shoulders. Her mouth moved, but no sound came out, suddenly unable to form a coherent sentence.

Nonon looked down at her, eyes dark, "They won't let me in to see her. I don't even know if she's alive. She looked awful when I saw them roll her into the ambulance."

Tears started to fall, then.

"I didn't know what to do! I thought it would be fine, you know? I was down the road! Down the  _road!_ "

The tears seemingly wouldn't stop. After a few moments, still sniffling, Nonon swatted Ryuko's hands off of her shoulders and got some tissues off the bedside table, handing a few to Ryuko.

Ryuko stared vacantly, raising a brow in confusion.

"Idiot. You're crying, too."

* * *

 

"Okay, so what do we do? Do we wait? Are you sure she can even check this kind of thing? What if—"

"Nonon, shut up! Mako knows what to do, I told her, like, fifteen times on the phone, just. Can you calm the fuck down for five minutes?"

Ryuko leaned on her knees in the wait room chair, taking even breathes to calm herself. The situation would only get worse if she let herself drown in her own emotions.

She started to bite her nails again, thinking back to before Satsuki left, and how she did the same thing, feeling the ghost of Satsuki's fingers on her palm. She shouldn't have let her leave.

Nonon was a wreck beside her. Crossing and uncrossing her legs every two seconds, doing the same with her arms. It was almost too much.

"Nonon, please. Mako will be back before you know it."

Nonon scoffed, "What if she can't get the information?"

"She will."

"How do you know?"

"She knows how I feel about Satsuki."

"Like that means anything."

Ryuko gripped the front of Nonon's shirt, almost pulling her out of her chair.

"It's what's keeping me from kicking your ass right now, understand? Say another word and I'll knock your teeth in."

Nonon swallowed harshly, swatting Ryuko's hand off her shirt, and turned the other way in her chair.

Ryuko sighed. Hospitals made her skin crawl. She needed to know if Satsuki was okay. Where the hell was Mako, already?

Seeing a familiar mop of brown hair, Ryuko stood. Her eyes widened; were those cops? What are they doing, talking to Mako?

It didn't look like Mako was trying to fend them off, either. What was going on? Ryuko started to walk towards her, trying to meet her eyes. When their eyes did meet, Ryuko walked faster.

"Mako, what's going on? Is she okay? Is she hurt? What's— "

One of the two policemen beside Mako put a hand on Ryuko's shoulder, "Ma'am this is a homicide investigation, and a police matter, you need to leave the premises, we're blocking off this entire wing of the hospital."

_What?_

"H-homicide? Mako, what—?"

"Nurse Mankanshouku, if you tell this woman any information, that's against the law, do you understand?"

Panic started to set in her gut. Ryuko spoke up, "No, it's not. Mako you can say anything you want—"

The cop who still had his hand on Ryuko's shoulder sighed, "Ma'am. This is now a criminal investigation, you need to step back."

"Criminal? You just said homicide!"

"Ma'am I will not repeat myself."

Ryuko looked at Mako. So, there was much more to this than originally thought.

"Just let me ask one question." Ryuko was looking at the police officer, now, "Is she alive or not?"

"Confidential, Ma'am. Please see yourself out, or I'll have to use force."

* * *

 

Standing outside the entrance to the hospital, Ryuko began to bite her nails again, leaning against the wall.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shi—"

"Nonon!  _Shut the fuck up!"_

Nonon closed her mouth silently and sat on the sidewalk, staring into space, brooding.

Ryuko's mind was going a million miles a minute. Homicide? Criminal Investigation? What the hell happened in that house?

 _Okay, okay._ Ryuko closed her eyes in concentration. _I've seen enough of those crappy crime shows to guess where this is going. Should I get her a lawyer? No. We need to wait. We need to know what happened._

Ryuko sat down next to Nonon on the sidewalk, thoughts jumbled.

"Ryuko!"

Mako crouched in front of Ryuko, waving her hand in her face, "Hey, I've only got, like, five minutes to give you the details, okay? So, just listen for now,"

She took Ryuko's hands in her own, Ryuko tensing up even more at the implication of the unknown, "Satsuki is alive. Not doing so well, but alive. Her mother is dead. Murdered, to be exact, that's why the cops are here. She came in with a caved-in skull and broken neck and some other stuff. It was really, just… brutal.

"The sister is in the same wing, Nui Harime. She had some injuries, but not as detrimental as Satsuki's. Satsuki is still knocked out, too. They put her on a bunch of painkillers. As for Nui, she's awake and is the one who called the cops to the scene."

Mako took a deep breath, winded from talking so fast. "That's all I know, once I get more information or updates on Satsuki's recovery process I'll call you, okay?"

Ryuko let out a shaky breath, hands gripping Mako's like it was the only thing she knew how to do.

"Thank you."

Mako let go of her hands and pulled her into a fierce hug, almost crushing her lungs. Ryuko hugged back just as hard. Mako was the only one who understood her sometimes, it seemed.

"I'm sorry I worried you."

"It's fine."

Pulling back after a few moments, Mako grabbed Ryuko's face with both hands, squeezing her cheeks roughly, "You've gotta be strong, now, you know? You've got to support her more than you ever have. Can you do that?"

Ryuko nodded mindlessly.

Mako stared at her for a few beats, letting go of her face and turning to Nonon, "You too, girl! We don't know what happened in that mansion last night, but we've got to keep it together. For Satsuki. Okay?"

Ryuko heard Nonon mumble her affirmation; still staring ahead, and tried thinking of the best way she could help Satsuki at the moment.

Mako was in front of her again, "Call Mikisugi. He's helped you get out of a tough spot before, I'm sure he can do it again."

She looked apprehensive for a moment; Ryuko blinked and asked, "What?"

"Nothing. Uh, I actually planned to tell you some news, today, but it can wait. It's not bad or anything."

Ryuko scoffed, "You can tell me, I mean, I'm a little all over the place right now, but—"

Mako shook her head, "No, no. I'll wait until you're in a better state of mind. It's not that important anyway…"

Ryuko sighed, finally standing, "Well, if that's what you want. Just tell me when you think I'm ready, I guess?"

Mako smiled, "I sure will!"

"I think your five minutes are up…"

Mako yawned, fatigue showing, patting Ryuko's head and ruffling her hair, "It'll be okay. We'll figure this out, alright?"

Ryuko nodded, "Yeah, okay."

Seeing Mako run back into the hospital, Ryuko turned to Nonon, pulling out her cell phone.

"Who's Mikisugi?"

Ryuko put the receiver to her ear, "An old friend."

After three rings he picked up, "Aikuro, I need a favor."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for the delay, I hope you enjoyed! :3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anyway, here's character development

TWO MONTHS LATER

Opening her bleary eyes and looking at the soft light coming in through her bedroom window, Ryuko closed them again, taking a deep breath to try and wake up.

Burying her face in the pillow, she kicked the blankets off her legs, stiffening at the sudden chill. After a few minutes she rolled over, facing the ceiling, mind blank. Sliding her eyes to the window again, she felt her irises shrink, taking in the bright morning light.

Suddenly, her phone alarm went off, the vibration making a louder noise than the actual beeping. Sighing, Ryuko smashed the volume button on the side, turning it off.

 _Guess I should get ready,_ Ryuko thought,  _Satsuki's waiting for me._

Sitting up, Ryuko looked around her apartment bedroom, staring at the alarming number of boxes against the walls. Even now, a week later, Ryuko wasn't used to seeing such things.

Satsuki's lease had expired, making Ryuko decide to take matters into her own hands and get all of Satsuki's belongings and put them in storage, which, at the moment, happened to be at her own apartment.

Ryuko thought she would feel more at ease knowing Satsuki's stuff was in a safe place, but actually having the boxes be the last thing she saw before she went to sleep and the first thing to see when she woke up was starting to take a toll on her.

Looking down at her bed, Ryuko spread her legs out, taking up a little more than half of the space available. Scratching the side of her face she licked the roof of her mouth, trying to dispel the sleep a bit more, "Yeah. Too big."

Groaning, she fell back against the pillows, turning to face the other side of the bed. Putting her arm out she gripped the sheets next to her, not moving for a long time.

.

Walking into the hospital corridor, Ryuko turned a familiar corner, the plastic covering the flowers in her hands crinkling under the weak pressure.

 _Maybe today will be a good one for her,_ Ryuko thought, lips tilting into a half-smile directed at the nurse at the door.

The nurse stopped her before she had a chance to open the door herself, "Ah, Ryuko," She was smiling, almost giddy; Ryuko's half-smile reached the other side of her face, "Ms. Kiryuin is doing wonderful today! She's already eaten her breakfast, with almost no help,  _and_  has been super receptive to me and the other nurses!"

The back of Ryuko's eyes began to sting, the plastic on the flowers in her hand crinkling again, "That's so great to hear!"

Feeling hopeful, she said, "Has she talked at all…?"

The nurse's smile cracked, clearing her throat she shook her head, "No, no. Not yet."

Ryuko shifted her eyes away, digesting the developments. She put her free hand on the nurse's shoulder, "Hey, don't get all mopey, she's making progress," Ryuko looked back at the nurse, "She'll be back to normal in no time."

Giving a lasting squeeze to the woman's shoulder, Ryuko nodded her goodbye and opened the door to patient number 137.

"Hey, Sats."

The room was neither bright nor dark as Ryuko brought the flowers to the side table between the window and Satsuki's bed. Replacing the wilting ones, Ryuko placed the plastic and the old flowers into the trash bin underneath the table.

Finally looking at Satsuki herself, Ryuko's eyes widened. Satsuki was staring straight at her and sitting upright.

"H-Holy shit."

Ryuko sat down in the familiar chair on the side of the bed, taking Satsuki's hand. Looking at her eyes, Ryuko could tell she wasn't really looking at her, just seeing through her like everything else. Swallowing the initial shock, Ryuko recovered, grinning and moving to kiss Satsuki's temple.

"A little birdy told me you ate breakfast all by yourself today," Ryuko rubbed the back of Satsuki's palm with her thumb, "You're working really hard, aren't you?"

Still looking into Satsuki's eyes, Ryuko suddenly bumped Satsuki's nose with her own. Keeping the proximity, Ryuko's breath began to quicken, "Sorry. It's still hard for me. Sometimes you look like you're… never mind."

Kissing her forehead, Ryuko rubbed her free hand across Satsuki's back, slow and firm. Moving her mouth to the crown of Satsuki's head, she said, "Wanna watch a movie today? I think the cable's back on in here…"

Met with silence, Ryuko continued her ministrations for a good while, mumbling absently about her morning.

"Oh, Nonon gave me a playlist for you to hear, by the way. It's a bunch of classical shit. She says it'll help calm you down and stuff," threading her fingers with Satsuki's, she continued, "I'm sure it can't hurt."

Pulling her phone out of her pocket, Ryuko found the playlist and pressed play, placing it on the side table next to them. Standing, Ryuko rested her head on top of Satsuki's, hand going back to her shoulders, rubbing at the tender muscle underneath the skin.

The room was quiet safe for the piano's melody, flooding the dismal atmosphere around them. After a few concertos, Ryuko sat back in her seat, slumping a bit, hand moving back to her own lap.

She had found out from Mako almost a week after their first conversation what Satsuki's physical injuries were: Her left femur was fractured, along with every rib on her right side; she had a bruised kidney that had lead to internal bleeding, both of her wrists were broken and her right elbow had practically been snapped in half.

The healing process would be a long one. Satsuki was recovering fairly well, though. Most of the injuries were healing quite fast and efficiently, according to the nurses. She had already started her physical therapy the week before. Sadly, that's where the trouble began.

She had hit some kind of mental wall, the doctors had said. The injuries had healed while she was, for a majority of the time, unconscious. Now, however, to further heal herself, she had to make the conscious decision to actually get out of her bed.

They had assessed that she was suffering from a type of catatonic depression. She would be in a stupor from that point on until she had recovered from the shock of what happened at the Kiryuin mansion.

Ryuko sighed, eyes shifting back to Satsuki. Her eyebrow twitched. Ryuko's eyes widened and she quickly leaned forward, ears straining to hear the mumble about to come from Satsuki's mouth.

"…ko…"

Ryuko, starting to feel the adrenaline pumping, took a suddenly clammy hand and moved it to the back of Satsuki's neck, fingers threading into her hair at the base of her skull. Moving her ear to rest just centimeters from Satsuki's lips, Ryuko waited, listening. Always listening.

"…Ryu…ko…."

Ryuko turned her head to face Satsuki, whose brows were furrowed and teeth bared in a grimace.

_Don't panic._

"I'm right here. Hey, Satsuki, hey, I'm right here."

Satsuki let out a small whine, tears starting to form in her eyes. Ryuko kissed her temple quickly, "I'm getting a nurse. It'll go away soon, I promise."

Running from the side of the bed, Ryuko tore open the door to find the nurse she had talked to earlier. Seeing her across the hall, Ryuko yelled from the room, "Hey, she's in pain, get a doctor, quick!"

The nurse nodded and got the doctor that was apparently in the room she was visiting. Seeing them start across the hall, Ryuko went back inside to try and console Satsuki.

She was sweating, her hands looked like they were cramping up and she was gasping for air.

Ryuko had only seen this type of episode twice, but from the aftermath she could tell Satsuki was only reliving some horror again and again alone in her mind.

The doctor quickly assessed Satsuki, opening her eyelids and checking something in her eyes with his tiny flashlight.

"She seems to be in some severe pain."

Ryuko glared at the doctor,  _No shit, Sherlock._

Taking the clipboard from the edge of the bed, the doctor grunted, "Probably a muscle cramp, a pretty bad one from the looks of it. She hasn't gotten out of that bed in almost two months."

He turned to the nurse, "You've been giving her Xanax…"

The nurse looked confused, "Yes, given her recent behavior it makes the most sense."

The doctor grunted again, and walked out the door while speaking, "Good work, then. Looks like pain is the only thing she responds to. Go ahead and tend to her, I've got another patient waiting."

Starting at Satsuki's neck the nurse pushed and pulled at her skin and muscle, moving down to her arms to her forearms to her hands. Finding nothing, she started to knead at Satsuki's lower back.

Letting out a loud grunt, Satsuki's eyes squeezed shut at the contact. Ryuko saw the nurse sigh with relief. After a few minutes of working the muscles, the nurse laid Satsuki on her back and switched the painkiller bag next to the bed.

"That should do it! Call us if she needs anything else, Ryuko!"

The nurse started to walk out of the room but stopped at the door, "Oh, so about the Xanax, we've only just started that treatment, so give it a few weeks and I think she'll be able to start physical therapy as soon as she gets out of that stupor."

Ryuko nodded, watching the nurse leave.

Looking down at Satsuki, Ryuko saw her face gradually start to blank. Her eyes became even more unfocused and her breathing began to slow. She truly looked like she belonged in a hospital. It was unsettling.

Ryuko moved to brush her bangs back, thumb rubbing just above her eyebrow, "Don't worry, everything will work out. You'll be up and out of here in no time."

* * *

 

Sipping her coffee at the open café down the street from the hospital a few hours later, a man with aviator sunglasses joined Ryuko at the small table she had occupied.

"About time, Aikuro, fuck, you're always so late."

Aikuro frowned, "As a recall, it's  _you_  who needs  _my_  assistance…"

Ryuko rolled her eyes, "Fine, fine. I'll play nice. What've you got?"

Opening a menu, Aikuro hummed, "Just a few things. I'm not as good as I used to be, you know."

After ordering and receiving his coffee, he spoke again, leaning forward to catch Ryuko's attention, "So. As I see it, there are only three possible ways this could've happened,"

He put up his pointer finger, "One. Nui had a reaction to something Ragyo was doing to Satsuki and attacked her, leading Satsuki to defend Ragyo, but getting her ass kicked."

Ryuko frowned, "What the fuck? That doesn't make any sense, I told you—"

"Shut it! No talking until I finish." Aikuro put up a second finger, "Two. Satsuki had a reaction to something Ragyo did and Nui just happened to be there, witnessing the attack and deciding to defend her mother."

Ryuko crossed her arms.

Putting up a third finger, Aikuro continued, "Three. Nui attacked them both."

Ryuko sipped her coffee. The last two seemed the most possible. Nui was certainly crazy enough to attack them both if Ragyo were to suddenly turn on her. Ryuko shook her head. No. It had to be that Satsuki attacked Ragyo and Nui came to the rescue.

Leaning back, Aikuro asked, "So. Which one?"

"Second."

Aikuro grinned, "Good, good. Now we get into the injuries," Ryuko nodded, eager to hear what he had come up with, "Lets start with the mother. Ragyo is deceased, with a caved-in skull and a broken neck. Other injuries, too, but these are the most important.

"What do you think bashed her on the head?"

Ryuko pursed her lips, "I haven't seen the pictures or anything but I'm assuming a sledge hammer or something really heavy like that."

Aikuro leaned forward, "The impacts were from something that had a width of less than an inch. Now, think of things with that dimension."

Ryuko was at a loss.  _The back of a regular hammer? A knife handle? Why not just stab her if she had a knife?_  Aikuro must've seen the confusion on Ryuko's face. He leaned down and started rummaging through his bag. What he pulled out made Ryuko want to vomit.

Shining from the sun's reflection, Aikuro pulled to eyelevel a pair of Smith & Weston handcuffs and set them on the table.

"What the fuck."

Ryuko stared at Aikuro, "You're  _serious?"_

Aikuro sighed, frowning, "It's the only explanation I could come up with; it'll make sense in a minute. Now, let's move to Satsuki's injuries."

Ryuko's stomach clenched, hard, and felt Goosebumps break her skin.

"Both of her wrists were broken. Now, what does that tell you?"

Ryuko growled, "That doesn't mean she was cuffed, she could've taken a really hard fall if Nui attacked her; that bitch is wild."

Aikuro shook his head, "From what I've seen and heard, she had bruising that is similar to that of someone who has been in handcuffs for more than six weeks. How long was Satsuki at her mother's house?"

Ryuko shook her head, "She texted me everyday! There's no way she was locked up or some shit. It's impossible. It's  _insane."_

"Did she ever call you? Did you hear her voice in all the time she was away?"

Ryuko's eyes widened. This wasn't the time to panic. Gripping the table, Ryuko muttered, "No, she never called."

Aikuro sighed, "Ryuko, I'm just telling you what I think happened."

Ryuko grunted, a sign Aikuro took to get on with it.

Clearing his throat, he continued, "As for the sister, Nui, her injuries are a bit more interesting. Broken ribs and collarbone, but the only stab wound is to her left eye, which was found a few feet from the mother.

"This leads me to believe that Nui fought Satsuki  _after_  the mother died, or at least, towards the end. I also think the eye slash was in self-defense."

Ryuko was looking down at her lap by the time Aikuro finished. She shouldn't have let Satsuki go to that place. She clenched her fist, "Why self-defense."

"Satsuki's right elbow is broken."

Ryuko's face scrunched up, "And?"

Aikuro took the spoon that came with his coffee and put his right hand up, blocking his face, "How could I take our your left eye right now? The initial cut was on Nui's nose."

Ryuko raised a brow,  _her nose?_

"You'd have to slash left to right."

Aikuro tapped his nose, "Good. So what does that tell us?"

Ryuko shrugged, "She backhanded Nui with a knife?"

Chuckling, Aikuro put the spoon down, "More or less. You don't come at someone sideways, though. Most of the time, if you have the intent to harm you stab downward, into the flesh. This was a defensive maneuver. She wanted Nui away from her.

"Looking at Nui's other injuries I'd say the eye-slash was first, and while she was in shock, Satsuki took that opportunity to beat the living shit out of her."

Ryuko's skin was on fire, "So you're saying Satsuki killed her mom and then tried to kill Nui."

Aikuro sipped at his coffee, "That's what the evidence points towards. The only reason they haven't arrested her is because the mother's blood was  _everywhere._ It was like someone tore her intestines out and decided to play with them while the ambulance was on its way."

Mouth suddenly dry, Ryuko chugged the rest of her coffee, "Well. You're probably right."

"You don't seem surprised that I think Satsuki killed her mother. That the person you've been dating for months is a murderer."

Ryuko stood up, silently declaring the meeting adjured, she never told Aikuro the entire situation between Satsuki and her mother, "I'd kill Ragyo too if I were in that situation."

Aikuro raised his eyebrows, but stayed silent.

Suddenly remembering something, Ryuko turned back to Aikuro, "How'd you get all this information, anyway? How do you know it's credible?"

Leaning back in his chair, Aikuro grinned, "I know the officer that was on call that night. Tsumugu Kinagase. We used to work on the force together. He's an honest man. He was the first one to arrive at the mansion."

Ryuko nodded, digesting the information, "Oh. Well, give him my thanks."

"Sure thing, kid."

* * *

 

FIVE WEEKS LATER

"Hey, Sats."

Walking into the room, Ryuko adjusted the bag strap on her shoulder, "Sorry I'm late."

Satsuki didn't move, fumbling with something in her right hand. Ryuko set her bag down and pecked Satsuki's cheek quickly, causing her to open her eyes at look at her. Not changing the proximity, Satsuki gave Ryuko a small, tired smile.

Ryuko grinned and kissed Satsuki's temple, "Did I interrupt your hand job?"

Satsuki opened her palm, revealing a small marble, "No."

Ryuko frowned internally, pulling the chair next to the bed closer and sitting down, putting her elbows on her knees, "You know, most people would at least roll their eyes."

Satsuki hummed quietly, still looking at the marble.

Narrowing her eyes, Ryuko scrutinized Satsuki, seeing the circles under her eyes and paleness of her skin. Sighing, Ryuko picked up her bag and put it in her lap, searching for the gift she brought.

Finding it, Ryuko scooted the chair even closer to the bed and leaned into Satsuki's personal space, "Hey, I got you something."

Satsuki turned and jumped slightly, feeling Ryuko's nose against her own. Ryuko didn't move, waiting for Satsuki to back away like she had been doing the last few weeks. However, Satsuki didn't move away, and instead, moved closer, bumping their foreheads.

Ryuko couldn't help it, glancing at Satsuki's lips she looked back up at her eyes, asking permission. Satsuki leaned in further, finally pressing their mouths together. They kissed each other gently for a few minutes, Ryuko breaking the last kiss to get the right amount of air in her lungs.

Satsuki threaded her fingers in Ryuko's hair; foreheads still pressed together, and said, "That's my sweater you're wearing."

"Huh?"

Ryuko looked down to see that she was, in fact, wearing one of Satsuki's sweaters. The pastel pink one she bought that time they went to the mall together and almost broke the fitting room door. She grinned at the memory, kissing Satsuki once more, "It's not my fault your shit is all over my apartment."

Satsuki hummed, conceding, but looking more pleased than Ryuko had seen her in weeks. Drunk on confidence, Ryuko started, "By the way, I know you're due to be outta here pretty soon, so, uh, I'll just go ahead and ask. Did you still wanna live with me?"

Satsuki's eyes widened, "Of course."

Ryuko breathed a sigh of relief, "Awesome," leaning in playfully, she continued, "cause I wasn't about to move all your crap into some other shithole. It was hard enough the first time."

Satsuki dropped her hand back in her lap and leaned back to lie on the pillows behind her, "Don't call your own apartment a shithole. That's not exactly good advertising."

"Any advertising is good advertising."

Satsuki's mouth twitched, but she opted to stay silent. Ryuko grabbed the hand in her lap, rubbing Satsuki's knuckles with her thumb, "You tired already?"

Sighing, Satsuki nodded, "I just got back from my therapy session. Walking shouldn't be this hard."

Ryuko gently tangled their fingers, "Hey, don't give up now, that trainer guy said that he's never seen someone bounce back as fast as you have."

Staring at Ryuko, Satsuki rolled the marble between her fingers with her free hand, staying silent.

Ryuko jolted, "Oh, yeah! Your gift!"

Putting a small box on Satsuki's lap, Ryuko leaned back a bit in her chair, grinning. Raising an eyebrow, Satsuki picked up the box, eyeing it wearily, "…R-Ryuko…?"

Ryuko laughed outright, " _Chill_ , it's not what you think."

Satsuki made a low rebuttal, opening the box slowly. Her eyes widened as she picked up what was inside. It was an old glass marble Ryuko had found in the back of her closet the day before, the inside of the glass having smoky hue to it, with greens and teals complimenting the streaks of dark purple.

Lips tilting into a smile, Satsuki looked at Ryuko, silently thanking her. Comparing it to the other marble, she said, "It's much heavier."

Ryuko crossed her legs Indian-style, leaning forward, "Yeah, it's old as fuck. I think I must've found it at a garage sale when I was a kid. Used to be my main shooter."

Satsuki's smile didn't waver, "You played marbles when you were little?"

Ryuko blinked, "Yeah, 'course. Who didn't?"

Shaking her head, Satsuki put her old marble in the box and put it on the side table by the bed, leaving the new one to rest in her palm, "Lots of people."

Leaning back to rest against the pillows, Satsuki started to roll the new marble in her palm, "This feels so much nicer."

Ryuko kissed her cheek, "Glad you like it."

Satsuki closed her eyes, focusing on the weight of the marble, feeling her consciousness waver slightly. Ryuko took her free hand with her own, rubbing the back of her palm, gently.

Sighing, Satsuki said, "They're telling me I might need a cane."

"Well, yeah, I mean, you can't just—"

"No, even after I'm out. I'll need a cane to walk."

The air had suddenly shifted, it was almost as if Satsuki was daring her to make a comment about it. Ryuko cringed internally, "Well then, we'll get you the best cane we can find."

Satsuki's eyes slowly shifted to Ryuko's, her sad gaze making the atmosphere even more depressing.  _She looks so tired_ , Ryuko thought, opting to stay silent given the situation.

After a few moments of staring, Satsuki turned her gaze back to the ceiling, speaking softly, "Can you stay while I take nap?"

Understanding the implications, Ryuko nodded, "Yeah, sure. Anything you want, Satsuki."

She fell asleep in a manner of minutes, leaving Ryuko alone with her thoughts.

The past few weeks had been jarring to say the least. With the new medicine, Satsuki had gotten out of her stupor quickly enough, but still had signs of easily falling back into it.

When Ryuko first saw her out of the stupor, Satsuki couldn't make physical contact at all, jerking away violently from anything that touched her. After a few dosage changes, she was finally able to get out of bed with newfound motivation, albeit very slowly some days.

The first time Ryuko had been able to kiss Satsuki was almost two weeks after she had spoken with Aikuro. They had been in the room, alone, and Satsuki had suddenly leaned forward and bumped noses with her. Being as cautious as she could, Ryuko decided to be totally submissive and not try anything, in the case she might've made Satsuki upset.

After making no move, Satsuki had gone for it, pressing their mouths together and grabbing Ryuko's hand on her lap. Ryuko's head had just about exploded, still being as submissive as she could; she let Satsuki kiss her for a good while, gripping her own thigh with her free hand just so she wouldn't accidently touch Satsuki somewhere that would trigger something.

Satsuki had revealed later that she believed Ryuko didn't want anything to do with her. She explained that after waking up, she realized what had happened and quickly fell into the stupor, believing the events to be repulsive and vile. Ryuko quickly tried to comfort her, staying day and night at the hospital, supporting her however she could.

A week after that encounter, Satsuki hadn't shown any signs of a better emotional state and Ryuko had realized, along with Nonon, that Satsuki had taken to not eating as much and staying silent for most of their visits.

After speaking with the nurse, she was told that even though Satsuki was out of the stupor, it didn't mean she wouldn't show signs of depression. What had happened to her was the very definition of psychological trauma.

Ryuko never asked explicitly about it, and avoided the subject constantly, but always told her she was there to listen if Satsuki ever wanted to vent.

She had been instructed by Mako to be as supportive as she could with Satsuki, and show affection often, just to be sure that Satsuki understood that she wasn't alone and had a shoulder to lean on.

Hearing the door open, Ryuko snapped out of her reverie, seeing Nonon walk in with a scowl on her face. Quickly putting her free hand up to her mouth, signaling Nonon to stay quiet, and then pointing to Satsuki, Ryuko whispered,  _"Sleeping."_

Nodding, Nonon moved a chair from the corner of the room and sat down next to Ryuko, playing on her phone. After a good ten minutes, Nonon spoke up, "Well at least we know she got some shut-eye today."

Ryuko yawned, already bored without Satsuki conscious, "Yep."

"Did she talk any more than usual?"

"Not really. Got tired faster than normal, though, so that's new."

Nonon hummed, "She works really hard when she's in that therapy place. Like she can't wait to get out of there."

"Can't blame her. She told me earlier that they were saying she needs a cane even after everything."

Nonon looked up from her phone, staring at Ryuko, "Seriously?"

"Yeah. I didn't really know what to say, but she seemed pretty upset about it."

Huffing, Nonon put her phone on the bed, "Well, yeah. Now every time she has to walk she's reminded of what she had to deal with her entire life. That's fucked up."

Ryuko slumped in her chair, lowering her voice, "Aikuro told me last night that Nui is accusing Satsuki for Ragyo's murder. They want to take this shit to court."

Nonon turned to her, suddenly serious, "Has she told you anything about that night?"

Deflating even more, Ryuko shook her head, "Only that she still has nightmares about it. She never goes into detail, though. I don't care if she killed her or not, what matters is how we can protect her from getting double fucked by that pirate bitch."

Nonon rolled her eyes, "Oh my God, I know. Did you see her on TV last night? She fucking got an interview with the Today Show, like, what the hell? And that eye patch is fucking tragic."

Ryuko laughed, "Hey, she's playing her cards the way she thinks she can win. What she doesn't know is that Satsuki's got the best lawyer in the freaking country."

Sighing, Nonon said, "Nui knows everything, Ryuko. I'm sure she's known about Aikuro since the first time you called him. She'll have a hell of a prosecution."

Ryuko squeezed Satsuki's hand, "Well, whatever. She can dish her bullshit all she wants, as soon as Aikuro reveals his hand, we've got it in the bag."

Nonon gave a noncommittal hum.

* * *

 

THREE WEEKS LATER

"Come on, Sats!"

Ryuko was grinning like no tomorrow, waiting for Satsuki at the main hospital entrance. Satsuki trailed behind her, allowing a small smile to show. She would be discharged today. A feat Ryuko wouldn't stop talking about.

As soon as Satsuki reached the door, Ryuko pushed it open for her, hand immediately going to her lower back, supporting her. With the aid of her new cane, Satsuki slowly crossed the threshold back into the real world.

Ryuko kept on beside her, leading her to her dad's car parked by the sidewalk in the 'no parking zone'. Opening the door, she watched as Satsuki gently lowered herself into the passenger seat, sighing contently once she was all settled in.

Running over to the driver's side, Ryuko quickly jumped in the car and began the trek back to her— _their_ apartment. Sneaking glances at Satsuki for most of the ride, Ryuko saw that she had apparently been so comfortable she immediately closed her eyes and was about to fall asleep.

Reaching a stoplight, Ryuko leaned over and pecked Satsuki's cheek, causing her to finally open her eyes and look at Ryuko.

"Don't fall asleep, yet! We're almost there."

Satsuki hummed and grabbed one of Ryuko's hands off the steering wheel, bringing it to her lap, fumbling with her fingers. The amount of satisfaction that rippled through Ryuko in that moment almost disgusted her. Almost.

Breaking a few laws to get home faster and receiving some scolding from Satsuki, Ryuko parked in front of her building and turned the car off, staying in her seat.

Satsuki swallowed, "Good thing you're on the first floor."

Ryuko grinned and brought their joined hands to her mouth, leaning back against the headrest, "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be, I think."

Getting out of the car, Ryuko made sure to be a little ahead of Satsuki before they reached the apartment door. Quickly unlocking the door and turning the knob before Satsuki could notice, she put the keys back in her pocket, trying not to give herself away.

"Did you forget your key, again?"

Turning around, Ryuko saw Satsuki, leaning on her good leg with her head tilted in concern. Satsuki's eyes widened, finally seeing the mischief in Ryuko's own eyes.

"Hey, wait—"

Not letting Satsuki finish, Ryuko took a step, bending over and picking up Satsuki bridal style, earning a surprised yelp. Grinning, Ryuko turned around and kicked in her own front door, calmly stepping into her apartment.

Satsuki had her arms around her neck for stabilization, but leaned back to glare at Ryuko, "What the hell," turning her head away, she continued, ears red, "you could've just told me you wanted to do this."

Kicking her door shut, Ryuko leaned forward, nuzzling Satsuki, "Surprising you is more fun, though."

Satsuki nuzzled back, rubbing her nose from Ryuko's ear up and down her cheek, across the bridge of her nose, down to her lips, and back to her other ear. Ryuko was beginning to wonder if she could continue holding Satsuki's full weight on top of this cat-like treatment.

Adjusting Satsuki in her arms, Ryuko captured her mouth, continuing to stand still. All she could think about was Satsuki, the way she was holding on, the fact that every time she breathed all she took in was the smell of Satsuki's hair, the warmth of Satsuki's torso against her own. Almost trembling at this point, Ryuko admitted between kisses, "Okay. Honesty hour. I don't think I can hold you up any longer, heh."

Satsuki chuckled against her mouth, "Then put me down, moron."

Letting out a playful groan, Ryuko set Satsuki down, hands moving around Satsuki's waist, refusing to actually let go. Satsuki threaded her fingers in Ryuko's hair, causing her eyes to slip shut, and continued their silent conversation at a slow pace, making Ryuko's fingers curl into Satsuki's lower back.

Feeling Satsuki freeze suddenly, Ryuko realized her mistake and corrected her fingers, mouth ghosting over Satsuki's, "I'm sorry."

Satsuki caught her breath, "No, no. It's okay. It was my fault."

"No it wasn't."

Ryuko rubbed their noses together, still craving Satsuki's warmth in any way, "You've been more affectionate, lately, you know."

Nodding, Satsuki said, "Mako talked to me maybe a week ago and told me that you were gloomy and that I should kiss you more."

Looking in Satsuki's eyes, Ryuko said, "You don't have to do that if you're not up to it. I know you're still feeling down some days," she felt her face heat up, "I mean, I missed you and stuff, but now that you're here I won't be all gloomy anymore."

Satsuki pushed back Ryuko's bangs and took a somewhat shaky breath, "I told her that I'm afraid."

Ryuko's grip tightened, "Afraid of what?"

"Not being enough for you."

It was silent for a long time, Ryuko staring at Satsuki with raised eyebrows. She knew this was a big reveal, given Satsuki's personality, and couldn't find the words to wrap her mouth around to even begin to argue against the statement.

Ryuko put her forehead on Satsuki's collarbone, staying silent.

After a few minutes of feeling Satsuki's heart hammering against her chest, Ryuko felt calmer than she'd ever been in her life.

"I love you."

She felt Satsuki's heart beat faster, "I love you, too."

Content, Ryuko kissed the hollow of Satsuki's throat, slowly moving away from the warmth she provided, "So, what'd you want for dinner?"

Satsuki was blushing, giving Ryuko even more satisfaction, "W-Whatever you want." Pursing her lips, she amended her statement; "Actually, I'm feeling Chinese at the moment."

Grinning, Ryuko said, "Chinese, it is. You want the usual?"

Satsuki nodded, walking slowly to the couch in the living area not two feet away from where they stood and sat down with a sigh. Ryuko ordered quickly and sat down next to her, turning on the TV and leaning back, reveling in the fact that Satsuki was next to her, safe and sound.

After almost half of some Lifetime movie, the food arrived, leaving no room for conversation about the shit acting on-screen.

Halfway through her meal, Satsuki scooted closer to Ryuko, letting their thighs touch. Swallowing her orange chicken, Ryuko wiped her face with a stray napkin and kissed the corner of Satsuki's mouth; earning a soft pinch on her knee and a faint, "Don't do that while I'm eating."

Shrugging and telling Satsuki that she did what she wanted, Ryuko went back to her meal, wolfing it down at lightning speed.

Ryuko mused that she could tell Satsuki about the calendar call in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all of the love for this story so far! I never thought it would be this well-liked, I sincerely hope y'all enjoyed this update! Any feedback is very much appreciated :3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the caged bird sings.

_Fire. Smoke. Ash._

_Suddenly she was seven years old again, running up the hill that had haunted her dreams for well over a decade after the events that took place there. The ground was wet, slick with mud, tree branches curving into the jagged path leading to the house at the top._

_Breathing heavily, Ryuko ran and ran and ran, not caring about the branches scratching her on the way up the steep slope. It was dark out, all except for the bright orange at the top of the hill, faintly illuminating the bushes around her, giving her dream a warm auburn hue. It was then that she heard the scream of agony from the old house in front of her._

_Even now, 14 years later she still felt a chill up her spine at how clearly she remembered the exact pitch and tone._

_Finally speeding past the last tree of the dense forest, that old rickety house came into view. The cursed home where they would play after school when the other kids would chase them out of the sandbox at the bottom of the hill. The flames devouring the sides were just as vivid as the first time she had this vision. It was almost as if she was reliving the scene over and over and over until she somehow got it right._

_Taking a shuddering breath through the thick air, Ryuko could barely fill her lungs there was so much smoke. The fire had spread to the forest around her, as if telling her straight ahead was the only place to go. Still running, the house was coming closer and closer, she could almost see his shadow. A shadow in blinding flames…_

_Jumping the worn steps in front of the house, Ryuko broke through the door before the porch roof collapsed, falling into the front room._

_She could hear him again, his cries of agony. He was burning alive._

_Suddenly she wasn't an adult anymore, but a snot-nosed brat from the next town over, a troublemaker, a child._

_Seeing him there, under a massive wooden shelf, with no way out made her grind her teeth. It pulled her entire being, like lines had been drilled into her bones and the image was reeling her in. She was helpless to her own despair._

_She couldn't save him. She knew that very well. She had lost count of how many times she'd had this particular nightmare. She was just a child, here._

_Hearing his screams slowly fade, Ryuko was brought to her knees. This part was always the same. She found herself mouthing the words along as he said them,_

" _Ryuko! Help me!"_

_Ryuko stayed silent, completely numb. She took the few steps to reach him, flames reaching out to lick her skin. She didn't feel any of it. Crouching down in front of him, Ryuko took his hand, feeling it blister her own, and stayed there, waiting for his next line._

" _I'm stuck! Try and find some help! I don't think I can take this heat any longer!"_

_Flashing back to the true memory, Ryuko felt the absolute terror and panic rip through her, promising him she would save him, that she would get the big firemen to come to the rescue._

_She wanted to stay this time. She didn't want him to be alone, again. It was something she didn't understand as a child, but now it was the only thing she knew. She would stay there, burn with him, every time. He would never have to be alone, again._

_Catching his stare, Ryuko raised a brow. Why did it feel different this time?_

_She suddenly heard shouts from outside, yelling about the fire._

" _Hurry, Ryuko! I'll find you after! Go and get help!"_

_She felt the sting behind her eyes. He would die here. She would not. Before she got up, she heard the words that she would never forget. Not in a million life times._

" _You'll wait for me, right? I'm not as fast as you sometimes…"_

Shaking herself awake, Ryuko gasped for the air she couldn't find in the dream.

Looking around, it was pitch-black in the room, safe for the pale moonlight threading in between the blinds. Taking a few deep breaths, Ryuko tried to calm down. She hadn't had one of those in a while.

_That's it, no more lemons before bed._

Checking her mental calendar, she was confused. The anniversary wasn't for another few months. Why would she suddenly start having those dreams, again?

Hearing a sigh next to her, Ryuko turned her head, finding Satsuki's back against her shoulder. Giving up, Ryuko rolled over to become big spoon, breathing in Satsuki's shampoo, making her head feel almost as light as when she was in the fire.

.

Feeling bright light hit her closed eyelids, Ryuko groaned, peeking through her lashes at the disturbance. Soft morning light was bleeding through her windowpane, curtains undrawn. Cursing herself for forgetting to close the blinds hours before, Ryuko felt something grip at her back.

Looking down to a head of black hair, tussled at the moment, Ryuko grinned. Trying not to disturb her sleeping partner, she readjusted so that Satsuki's neck wasn't so bent across her arm as before, moving her to the pillow above, so they were now facing each other.

Her efforts were to no avail, unfortunately, as Satsuki mumbled some jumbled words across her skin, eyes moving beneath their lids, and breaths becoming out of sync.

Cracking an eye open, Satsuki matched Ryuko's stare.

"Mornin'."

"…Likewise."

"You awake or do you wanna sleep some more?"

Satsuki's eye glazed a bit as she mumbled, "Sleep."

Closing her eye, Satsuki let her head fall more into the pillow, sighing contently.

Ryuko rolled to face the ceiling, arm leaving Satsuki's side and going behind her head. Hearing her phone ring on the bedside table, Ryuko jumped, sitting up, reaching for the phone and answering without checking the caller ID.

"Hello?"

She looked over at Satsuki to see if she woke her up again; she hadn't.

The voice on the other line spoke hurriedly, "Ryuko, we've got a court date. Good fucking God, she's got the best lawyer I've ever seen."

_Aikuro._

"Ah, that's… good?"

A chuckle on the other line, "Yes, Ryuko. It's good. Her name is Rei Hououmaru and she's  _very_  thorough. It could become a problem, but we'll see."

Sneaking a glance at Satsuki, who was still sleeping soundly, Ryuko said, "I don't know much about all this law stuff, Aikuro… I mean the last time you helped me out I was just a kid… I don't really remember how all this works."

Her mind jumped back to her dream, unwillingly. Shaking it off silently, she continued, "But I trust you, so I know you'll do your best against them."

She could hear the grin in his next words; "I know she's family to you, already, Ryuko. She's safe with me, don't worry your pretty little head about it."

Feeling the heat rush to her face, Ryuko spluttered, "W-Whatever. I'm just  _saying_ , damn it."

Aikuro chuckled again, "Sure, Ryuko. Okay, well, I've got to start coming up with a good defense for this. If you want, you and your girlfriend, wife, whatever, can come over and we can work together today or tomorrow."

Ryuko growled, now fully red in the face, "She's not my wife, holy shit."

"That's what you got out of that—"

"Shut the fuck up, okay, fine! We'll come over! I'm hanging up now!"

"You know I'm just messing with yo—"

Phone in her hand, Ryuko placed it back on the bedside table, running a hand through her hair.

She sighed, grumbling, "Fucking Aikuro… I tell him how I feel  _one_  time—"

Hearing her phone ring again, Ryuko answered with a curt, "What."

"We also need to talk about what Satsuki told the police that night."

Brows furrowing, Ryuko looked at Satsuki below her, "What do you mean? Is it bad?"

There was a lot of noise on the other line, "There wasn't anything recorded. It's blank."

"Uh…"

Aikuro sighed, "Either you ask her or I will. Either way, I need to know. Just putting it out there, it's quite strange. Anyway, call me when you're about to come over."

Without waiting for a reply, the line went dead. Ryuko sighed, letting her phone fall to the ground, she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

Settling down in the sheets again, Ryuko closed her eyes, feeling Satsuki put an arm across her stomach, moving closer. Peeling an eye open, she saw that Satsuki's eyes were still closed, face as peaceful as ever.

.

The next time she opened her eyes, however, she was welcomed with cold sheets and an open bedroom door.

Practically leaping out of bed, Ryuko walked through the hall, panic clawing at the back of her throat.

What if the police took her away for not answering questions? Could they do that? Does Satsuki have a warrant out for her arrest? Did the Chinese delivery guy from last night set them up? He didn't look like an undercover cop…

Rounding the corner and finding Satsuki sitting at the kitchen table, sipping calmly at her morning tea, Ryuko sighed in relief, "Holy shit, Satsuki, don't do that!"

Satsuki looked up with a raised brow, startled, "Do what? Drink tea?"

Ryuko suddenly felt the room to be bigger than it was, "Uh… no. I meant, like, with all the scares we've had, waking up alone was…"

She had to word it correctly so she wouldn't plant the same fear in Satsuki's mind, "I thought you left or something."

Walking over to the small table against the wall, Ryuko took the seat next to Satsuki and placed her head down, turning to face her. Satsuki set her teacup down and threaded her hand into Ryuko's hair, scratching at her scalp, "I'm sorry."

Ryuko let her eyes slip shut at the sensation, "Nah, it's fine. I've just been on edge, lately. Dunno why."

Satsuki hummed, "I'll make you some coffee."

Ryuko grunted her affirmation; feeling her mind drift on the edge on consciousness, ready to fall at any moment. Suddenly she felt Satsuki's hand in her hair again and the smell of freshly brewed coffee invading her nostrils.

Sighing, Ryuko opened her eyes to a mug two inches away from her face and Satsuki sitting closer than before. Sitting up, Ryuko stretched her arms above her head, lifting her shirt a bit in the process, leading Satsuki to take her hand and run it against Ryuko's now-bare side.

Stealing a glance, Ryuko saw Satsuki lean in towards her face, hand curling around to her other side, pulling her closer. Putting her arms down, Ryuko leaned in just enough to voice her consent, and let Satsuki do the rest at her own pace.

Gripping her own thighs, Ryuko felt Satsuki's mouth press against her own, a deep need behind the gesture. Satsuki's other hand suddenly joined the first underneath Ryuko's shirt, making her tilt her head for more access to Satsuki's mouth, blunt nails digging into her own legs.

Satsuki scratched at her upper back, earning a pleased sigh against her lips. Ryuko opened her eyes and leaned away, just a bit, trying to get Satsuki's attention. Getting one last kiss in, Satsuki hummed, opening her eyes as well.

"I know this is, like, a really awkward time to bring this up, but Aikuro went to the calendar call this morning."

Satsuki kissed her again, hands moving into her hair, rubbing her thumbs on Ryuko's temple. Between choked breaths, Ryuko found her hands on the edge of her knees, practically begging her to feel Satsuki's thighs the moment she lost her resolve.

Feeling Satsuki's mouth leave hers, Ryuko opened her eyes to see Satsuki staring at the hands on her knees. Eyes full of understanding, Satsuki picked one of them up and placed it in her lap and rubbing her thumb across Ryuko's knuckles in silence.

Ryuko swallowed thickly, "So, uh, what'd you tell the police when they interviewed you?"

Satsuki wouldn't look at her, "They deemed I wasn't lucid enough to give them any useful information."

Ryuko tilted her head, "When was that?"

Satsuki looked up in thought, "I want to say a few days after I woke up. The nurses were really good at keeping them away from me. Eventually they broke through, but I wasn't talking at the time, so they decided to call it quits, I suppose."

"So, no one has interviewed you about that night."

Satsuki nodded.

"Soroi called me the day before I was going to leave the hospital. They were going to arrest me as soon as I walked out the door," she let a small smile show, "He talked them into letting him pay bail before they could touch me. They wouldn't want a scandal, would they?"

Ryuko let out a whistle, "Damn, smart guy."

Looking to the side, Ryuko said, "You know she's been on the news, telling people her version, right?"

Satsuki hummed, "It must be quite the tale."

It was quiet for a long time before Satsuki spoke again, "Do you believe her?"

"Not for a fucking second."

Finally looking back at Ryuko, Satsuki cleared her throat, "I'd rather that you be the first person I tell than the police."

Ryuko stared, "Only if you want to."

"I do."

Throat dry, Ryuko set her teeth, ready to listen.

Satsuki looked down at their tangled hands, sighing, "I'll spare you the graphic details about what went on before that night," her grip tightened, "But anyway, Nui had walked in, right on schedule it seemed, and began to taunt me."

Satsuki wet her lips, eyes darting, seeing things Ryuko would never see, "She was telling me all sorts of things."

She paused and added, "Ridiculous things."

Taking a deep breath, Satsuki finally looked at Ryuko, "She told me you were next. She had been playing with you through my phone, texting you, pretending to be me. She wanted to lead you out there, like a pig to slaughter."

Suddenly, Ryuko's chest contracted, almost like she couldn't breathe.

_So she was never safe._

Clearing her throat, Satsuki continued, "She… fed me her lies for hours." Her eyes began to dart around the room again, "After she felt satisfied, she said that night would be different. That night, I would remember everything from my past… from the weeks before…"

Ryuko felt her hands sweating, seeing Satsuki's face twist in pain. Still, she opted to stay silent. Satsuki spoke softly, as if afraid someone might hear her, "I remember everything, now. From my childhood… you and Nonon were right."

Satsuki looked up at Ryuko, mouth twitching down, eyebrows glued together in misery. It was then that Ryuko realized the weight of the situation. Satsuki had been abused for years, and had just been informed about it. Years of cruelty, all crashing down in the same day.

Ryuko couldn't wrap her mind around the mere concept of it all. Who would be that malicious? Who would want their own family to suffer like that? Biting her lip to keep it from trembling, Ryuko's thoughts wouldn't stop.

Only a vile, rotten person could do such things. To keep it hidden away for so long, to toy with her victim's memories, to exploit her own flesh and blood, the very acknowledgement of such things Satsuki thought were works of her imagination could only lead to despair and mourning.

Sniffling, Satsuki's eyes beginning to water. Gently taking her hand from Satsuki's grip, and seeing the most heartbroken look on Satsuki's face as soon as her hand left her lap, Ryuko quickly put her hand in Satsuki's hair, pulling her head to her chest, silently accepting her. As if she wouldn't.

Satsuki let out a whimper, fingers clutching the front of Ryuko's shirt. Ryuko set her teeth, hearing Satsuki in so much pain… it was almost too much to bare.

Voice cracking, Satsuki said, "I-I didn't know what to do… It was all  _true._ "

Ryuko nudged the top of her head, clutching her upper back. She felt so useless like this, the only comfort she could provide was her presence. All she could do was sit and hold her, listening to her weep, wishing it all away.

They stayed that way for a long time, Ryuko silently kissing Satsuki's face, letting her wipe her own tears, and watching her slowly recover.

Taking a deep breath and clearing her throat, Satsuki continued, "So, that night, she had given me the serum and the memories came flooding back… I was catatonic until she gave me another shot and unchained me from the wall."

She paused again, as if trying to remember every detail, "I was in such shock that I wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying to me, but she ended up taking the handcuffs off of me as well. I think she was trying to make me fight her. There was something off about how she was acting, though."

Pursing her lips, Satsuki looked around the room, sighing, "She was having a complete tantrum that I wouldn't fight her by the time Mother walked in. Mother tried to calm her, but I don't know, I suppose she was just so on edge that she wouldn't even listen."

Locking eyes with Ryuko, she said, "That's what was different. She had acted out, which she had never done before. She always listens to Mother, always. She kept telling her now was the time, I had no will to live anymore, they had to hurry and go to get you already."

Swallowing thickly, Satsuki grabbed her teacup from the table, taking a slow sip. Ryuko did the same with her coffee.

"She wanted to kill you and show me your corpse."

Ryuko stared, blinking rapidly.

Satsuki took another sip, smacking her lips, making a decision, "Do you have any Bailey's?"

Ryuko was already at her liquor cabinet, "You know I do."

Satsuki let out a puff of air, a failure of a laugh, "Remember, no—"

"No milk. Yeah, yeah, I know."

Ryuko poured what was probably considered too much for a morning alcoholic beverage into the mug and topped it off with the coffee Satsuki had made for her earlier, stirring it on the way back to the table.

Taking a sip, Ryuko handed it to Satsuki. With a knowing tilt of her lips, Satsuki accepted the mug and took a huge swig, leaving Ryuko standing next to her with wide eyes. She knew Satsuki didn't drink much, but when she did…

"I'm trying to relax, Ryuko, not get sloppy. You're finishing this."

Ryuko hunched her shoulders apologetically, "Habit, sorry."

Satsuki hummed, "It's fine."

She took a few more drinks, letting time pass to where she was comfortable talking again, eventually passing the mug to Ryuko to finish.

"So, as I was saying… Mother got fed up with Nui at some point and left the room, leaving her alone with me. Nui was fuming, I'd never seen her so put out. Then she just ran out of the room, leaving the door open, leaving me alone in there."

Satsuki crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair a bit, "I thought,  _'this was my chance'_. I was free, but who knew what was on the other side of that door.

"I still hadn't really recovered from the complete mental onslaught those serums brought me… but before I could even make a decision, Nui came back, carrying a bunch of woodworking tools."

Ryuko finished her drink, sitting on the literal edge of her seat. Satsuki stopped for a moment, probably to accurately recall what had happened.

"She…" Another pause, "She dumped them all on the floor, and screamed at me to choose one. There were saws, axes, hammers… I didn't know what to do; she was completely out of her mind.

"I ended up taking a saw, I thought it was the best option, the most versatile. She came at me with an axe, but her movements were so wild… it was easy to see openings as injured as I was.

"After a few clashes, Mother walked in. She had heard the noise upstairs, and came down to tell Nui to stop.  _'It wasn't time yet_.' Nui got even more upset and just…"

Satsuki sighed and Ryuko put a hand on her knee, still silent, listening intently, "Things got way out of hand, Mother… started telling Nui things like she wished she had a  _better_  daughter, a daughter that would listen and be submissive… A daughter like me."

Satsuki frowned deeply, brows furrowing in anger, voice dropping dangerously low, and said, "She had it coming, in my opinion."

Ryuko stared.

"Nui attacked me. I don't remember much but she apparently broke my wrists by stomping on them while I was still holding the saw after she kicked me against the wall. She had completely lost it.

"Mother began to scold her again, telling her she was ruining the plan among other things… she either wasn't paying attention or was so gone that she didn't care but… Nui swung that axe backwards at Mother and stabbed her right in the stomach."

Satsuki swallowed, "I had never been so relieved in my life, but the same time so frightened. We all kind of, froze for a minute. Mother stared at me as she coughed up blood…"

Ryuko felt ice run down her spine.

"She begged me to save her… to avenge her…"

Satsuki was baring her teeth, more livid than Ryuko had ever seen her, "I told her to go fuck herself."

Ryuko's throat was dry; she could see the veins in Satsuki's forehead and neck pulsing. Her face had contorted into pure wrath. She was irrefutably terrifying.

"Nui flipped. Started cutting her up more, screaming. I couldn't tell what she was saying and I didn't care. My  _abuser_  had just asked me to  _save_  her… I mean, how the fuck do you respond to that?"

Satsuki locked eyes with Ryuko, rage directed at her, now. Suddenly she blinked, as if coming out of a daydream, face sliding back into it's usual features, "S-Sorry."

Ryuko shook her head violently, having a hard time swallowing, "No, no. It's alright. You're fine."

Satsuki uncrossed her legs and cleared her throat, eyebrows still drawn together, "Anyway, Nui was just pissed out of her mind. She tackled Mother and started to wail on her, blind with rage. Mother had started to scream as well, trying to get the attention of the upstairs attendants, I'm assuming. They never came, though… So she must've sent them all home early.

"Suddenly the all the screaming had stopped and there was about ten seconds of silence where the air between us all was so thick that I was afraid to breathe. Then, Nui just started crying like a five year old who got their toy taken away. She started thrashing Mother around, I couldn't really see.

"By the time she had calmed down, I could see what she had done. Mother's insides were on the floor, and she wasn't moving…"

Satsuki grabbed Ryuko's hand that was resting on the table, bringing it to her lap.

"She was dead. And Nui was about to take it all out on me. She started screaming at me, but by that time she had already screamed so much that her voice was cutting out, so I didn't really catch a lot of what she said… all I know is that I grabbed the closest weapon to me and slashed at her, to try and get her away from me.

"I ended up gauging her eye out."

Satsuki's fingers laced with Ryuko's.

"She grabbed me by the throat, and led me to Mother. She put my face in her stomach, screaming at me, telling me to look at what I had done. She pulled me by my hair after a while, throwing me against the wall again. She came at me so fast I couldn't react. I heard a loud  _snap_  and then my left leg was just on  _fire_."

She moved her free hand to said leg, gently tracing her thigh, as if an old habit.

"I blacked out. I opened my eyes again and Nui was on top of me, about to—"

Satsuki looked away quickly, and hastily added, "Anyway, it doesn't matter. I got her off but only to find myself in handcuffs, again. She started to beat me, and tell me that I'll never get away with it and that she'd get you someday… And I just—"

She looked back at Ryuko, eyes burning, and said, "I couldn't let her hurt you like she hurt me."

Ryuko couldn't breathe. Satsuki fought back… just because she thought Nui would somehow get to her?

"I let off a lot of steam. I don't remember a lot of what I did, I just remember the moment she stopped resisting. The chain on my cuffs broke, and I saw Mother on the floor next to us…

"I ended up vomiting profusely."

Satsuki sighed, leaning back in her seat, "Next thing I knew I was in the hospital."

Ryuko's mind was blank. Suddenly, too much time had passed, leaving Satsuki to stand and grab the cane leaning against the counter. Standing as well, Ryuko followed Satsuki back to her room, watching her sit on the edge of the bed and look up at her expectantly.

"I…I don't really know what to say."

Satsuki shrugged, "It's alright. I feel much better, like a weight has been lifted off my back."

Ryuko made a face out of habit, "It's 'chest', not back."

Standing, Satsuki made the same face at Ryuko; lips tilted upwards, "Now you do know what to say."

Ryuko rolled her eyes, "Oh, whatever." Wrapping her arms around Satsuki, she pulled her into a bear hug, nuzzling her face into Satsuki's neck.

"Ah, that's more like you."

* * *

 

Adjusting her hoodie, Ryuko looked to her right, seeing Satsuki climb the final step after swatting her hand away for the third time, "I've got it, Ryuko. It's one flight of stairs, not the damn Great Wall of China."

Ryuko grunted, still reaching for her hand after she adjusted her freshly cut hair. She had told the hairdresser just hours before to chop it up to her jawline, and then pick a style they thought would work best with her face without loosing her bangs and go from there.

Ryuko was as equally surprised as the employee, but after a few seconds she understood and stared the woman down until she stopped asking if Satsuki was 'absolutely sure'.

After walking out of the shop, Satsuki took a piece and brushed it behind her ear, frowning. Ryuko sprung into action, kissing her cheek and telling her it looked great. Satsuki had smiled sadly and said, "I just thought it would make me feel lighter."

Feeling fingers curl between her own, Ryuko snapped out of her thoughts and found herself staring at the large double door entrance to the building. Satsuki looked at her expectantly, mouth curled down, as usual.

Quickly getting Aikuro's room number from an old text message, Ryuko led Satsuki past the doors and to the elevator in the middle of the giant hall. She had been so distracted by her thoughts that she hadn't even taken in exactly how big the court building was: Gold lined the ceiling while white marble lined the floors, accenting the grey doors and black walls.

_Fancy, shmancy place, Aikuro._

Stepping into the elevator, Ryuko pressed the correct floor and felt Satsuki press up against her, pushing her against the wall of the elevator. In any other situation, Ryuko wouldn't have to think about what she would do next, but considering the amount of suits that were also in the elevator, Ryuko narrowed her eyes at Satsuki, lips were tilted upward, disgustingly satisfied.

Leaning up and lowering her voice so that only Satsuki could hear, she said, "Cat got your tongue, Kiryuin?"

Feeling the elevator stop and seeing the small room clear out, Ryuko bit Satsuki's ear playfully, earning a flick at her throat once the space started moving, again.

"We're in a professional setting, don't do such lewd things."

The elevator rang, and seeing they were on the correct floor, Ryuko took Satsuki's hand again and led her down the hall, searching for Aikuro's office. Finding it and opening the door, Ryuko didn't even notice what was going on inside until Satsuki stopped, stiff, face pinking slightly.

Looking up, Ryuko's entire face was set on fire.

"Aikuro! What the hell!"

Aikuro casually lifted a brow, "Ryuko. Did I or did I not specifically ask you to call before you made a visit?"

"Are you fucking naked right now!?"

Sighing dramatically, Aikuro made to stand, Ryuko whipping her head the other way, putting her hands up and screaming at him to 'sit the fuck down before he blinds someone'.

Satsuki put a hand to her mouth trying to cover her amusement at the situation, snickering quietly.

"I have underwear on, calm down. I'm in an  _office_  after all."

Standing and picking up a pair of trousers on the chair next to his desk amongst a small pile of professional wear, he began to slowly dress himself, mouth curled in annoyance.

Once dressed, he extended a hand to Satsuki, "Pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Kiryuin."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to split this chapter off so y'all don't have to wait as long to find out what's happened! I feel bad leaving y'all hanging for months :( 
> 
> be sure to leave your thoughts if you've got any! I love hearing from y'all! :3
> 
> next chapter we'll get to see how Nui's prepared her side of the story! Is it the same? Is it totally different? What was that surprise Mako was talking about at the hospital all those months ago? FIND OUT on the next episode of DRAGON BALL Z!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This story will get a tad darker as we go on, but I'll be sure to tag for it when we get there!


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